Tuesday, February 10, 2009

What if Teachers Ran the World?

I’ve had a lot of time to ponder the state of politics in this country lately. Unless you’ve been living under a rock, you know the following:

1.There was a presidential election in November.
2.Barack Obama became the 44th president of the United States a few weeks ago.
3.California’s governator and state legislatures have not yet passed a state budget…which was supposed to happen in July.

Yes, folks, we’re over six months without a state budget. Scary? To quote the losing candidate for Vice President: “You betcha!”

I spoke to my boss today, asking her the tough question: can I expect to receive a pink slip? Her answer was, “Yes. All first-year teachers in the district will receive one by March 15th.”

This was only confirming what I already knew—I may very well be out of a job in another few months. I’ve been in this position before, of course. It was only one year ago this Saturday (Valentine’s Day—heh) that I was laid off from my high school choral job. That, of course, was a blessing in disguise. I hated that job, resented the time I had to spend fundraising, and couldn’t believe the brattiness of some of the little divas I worked with. Every day, I had someone pissing on my methods. It was maddening.

This time, the thought of being laid off really sucks. I love what I’m doing here. It is challenging but comfortable. I don’t hate going to work in the mornings. I look forward to finding cool projects for my kids, and don’t resent the time I spend doing lesson plans. I know that every day, I bring joy to my kids in some way. My little kids love music time—some classes were actually sad last week when I took a sick day.

I’m getting sick and goddamned tired of education in this state and country getting the short end of the stick. I’ve decided that teachers should run the world. We’d get a lot more accomplished.

No War

Think about it. If teachers were running things, no one would dare invade another country, even if, “He started it!!!” The offending parties would be placed in separate corners of the room, told to get on with their assignment (running their own countries without interfering with someone else’s) and warned that any more misbehavior would result in detention time and a visit to the Vice Principal.

Lower Crime Rates

Face it—students are always trying to get away with stuff. Teachers have eyes in the back of their heads and a sixth sense for lying that doesn’t let up. Any teacher worth their salt has students who will tell you they don’t dare get caught misbehaving. The students know one important thing: the second they’re caught—and they will be caught—the consequence will be unpleasant. Television in prison? Ha! Those prisoners would be scrubbing the floors with toothbrushes, completing “Cool Down” assignments, and eating school cafeteria food.

Pigs in a blanket, anyone?

What Economic Crisis?

Teachers are masters at stretching a dime.

For starters, a teacher like me, in the seventh year of her career, makes approximately $46,000 a year. Not horrible, but certainly somewhat limiting. And yet my rent gets paid, my bills get paid, my car is running, and I have professional, affordable clothing for my job. I also have extra money for the perks in life, like travel, my scrapbooking habit, and my book addiction. Teachers can budget!

And we can squeeze the very last bit of construction paper out of the scrap box. We save milk cartons for planting seeds in science class, and toilet paper rolls for art projects. White board markers are treated like precious commodities. Copy paper is worth its weight in gold.

An extra worksheet can be turned over and used for drawing paper. Using the school’s laminating machine will ensure that one will never have to buy classroom posters again—those suckers aren’t fading, no sir!

Spending money on new text books would never be an issue—we’d find a way to cut back in other corners. We’d bicker for the length of a staff meeting, then put it to a vote. Majority rules, and no, you can’t buy our vote!


Ahhh, if only teachers ran the world.

2 comments:

RvNGrammy said...

Not sure how witty I'll be. Damn! I'm sorry you will get laid off, Megan! That just plain sucks. Arnold is no better than Gray was...in fact, worse! What a mess out there. Hugs and prayers for you to land on your feet.

Carol

Anonymous said...

Point of order... the state is NOT six months behind on the budget. The budget cycle is July to June, and they passed this year's budget several months late, but it was passed last year.

Then, like everyone, the state ran out of money, the economy tanked, and the Governor called for mid-year cuts. That's what they are trying to come to agreement on now.

The hold-up on mid-year cuts is because Democrats have been trying to get the Republicans to agree to tax increases so we can protect education (which the Republicans have been trying to gut for years b/c they hate the teacher's union and the less money there is for teachers, the less money teachers will have for the union). It's cynical, but there you have it.

In truth though, there have been increases in state spending over the past ten plus years - all in areas that are Republican priorities. Prisons, basically, is where we've increased spending the most. You have to pay for 3 strikes somehow. And now we're under court order to increase prison spending even more b/c we've got inhumane conditions from over-crowding.

FYI - Education has more or less stayed constant over that same period.

On the other hand, to be fair, from an economic perspective, it's a terrible time to raise taxes. The short-term impacts will be harsh.

But, if you don't, you risk long-term damage to the economy b/c so many of our jobs require a certain degree of educational attainment in the workforce.

In any case, no matter what happens at the state level, Stockton schools are in real trouble b/c the bottom has fallen out of the property tax base there due to the mortgage crisis. That's your real problem.