Saturday, November 26, 2005

Diary of a Shopgirl

3:00 (a.m.): Alarm goes off. Shopgirl rolls over in bed, groaning and testing her sore throat. Thanksgiving was lovely, except for this horrid cold she's got, and now she has to pay her dues.

3:20 Shopgirl climbs from the shower, grabbing the towel rack for support and blearily reaching for a towel.

3:25 Shopgirl's drugs (a Claritin and a few aspirin) are kicking in, and she is awake enough to put her contacts in without poking an eye out.

3:30 Shopgirl heads downstairs to the kitchen, where a plastic-covered bowl of dry Raisin Bran and a plastic-covered cup of hot cocoa powder await her ministrations. She sets the kettle to boil and pours milk on her cereal, scarfing it down while standing up.

3:40 Shopgirl heads back upstairs to the bathroom, steaming cup of hot chocolate in one hand and visions of a warm bed making her question her sanity.

4:00 All coifed and made up and dressed in comfy work-casual clothing, Shopgirl heads back downstairs and steps into the garage.

4:05 Shopgirl must drive her parents' car today because her own car has a doctor's appointment at Bremerton Mazda. She adjusts the seat and mirrors to accomadate her short frame and sets off through the neighborhood--the sleeping neighborhood. Not even the nocturnal creatures seem to be out.

4:20 Safely out of the forest and across the Hood Canal Bridge, Shopgirl finds herself on Highway 3, Southbound, heading towards Silverdale and the Kitsap Mall.

4:35 As she approaches Silverdale and her exit, Shopgirl is astounded by the number of cars out on the road at this unthinkable hour. Normally this stretch of road might have 4-5 cars; today it has dozens.

4:40 Another shopgirl lets Shopgirl into the store. "See that woman in front? She's been here since 3:30!!" she tells Shopgirl. Shopgirl replies, "It's crazies like that that drag us out of our warm beds at the crack of dawn..."

4:45 A bleary-eyed Shopgirl punches in her 8-digit employee number on the time clock at work, and heads over to Fine Jewelry for an early morning Pep Talk/ Team Meeting.

"Drive credit!" cheers one boss.

"Bah humbug," thinks Shopgirl.

"Encourage sales!" enthuses another boss.

"Yeah, yeah, yeah," thinks Shopgirl.

"If there are any fist-fights, call me over the P.A." says the head of assets protection.

"If there are any fist-fights, I'm ducking for cover," thinks Shopgirl.

5:00 The lights come on, the Muzac starts. The doors open and the store floods with people frantic to get to the personal DVD players (only $99.99!!). There are four people at Shopgirl's wrap desk in Home Fashions--one for each register. Now the fun starts.

6:00 A whole hour has zipped by. No fistfights, not too many cranky customers. Shopgirl vaguely wonders how things are at Wal Mart. Thanks God she wasn't that desperate for a job.

7:00 Shopgirl gets her first break. Stuffs her name badge into her pocket and makes a clean getaway to the break room. Enjoys 15 minutes of being off her feet and staring into space.

8:45 "Lunch" break. The store hasn't brought in the pizzas yet, so Shopgirl has her second breakfast of the day--a couple slices of homemade bread someone brought in, a Mr. Pibb, and a Payday bar. Calls her parents, realizes Mom is in store. Spends 10 minutes or so chatting with Mom before going back to sit down and vegetate.

12:00 Early Bird Special is now over. The store is still busy but much quieter than the last 7 hours. Shopgirl has one hour and forty-five minutes left. Her feet start to hurt.

1:45 Time to go! No one has to mention to Shopgirl that she's now free. She says her goodbyes and runs to the break room to clock out.

1:50 Shopgirl calls her parents again, as they took their car while hers gets a brake-oscopy (lots of things need checking when a car hits 30,000 miles). Rain is pouring down as she steps outside, looking for them.

2:05 Shopgirl and parents arrive in Bremerton, where Rosie Protege awaits with a clean bill of health. Shopgirl climbs into her car and heads back to Silverdale to deposit her paycheck at the bank and head back...

2:30 ...to Mervyn's, to do some shopping. She buys herself some new bath towels, a pretty pillow for her bed, and a couple of Christmas ornaments.

2:45 Shopgirl walks wearily into Barnes and Noble for a book fix. She buys four trashy romances and one Bill Bryson book. Happy, she gets back in her car and heads back to Port Ludlow.

3:15 Shopgirl pulls into the driveway of her home, almost 12 hours after she left to go to work this morning. Once inside she showers the sweat off, cuddles the kitties, and has dinner of a BLT and some soup. She then sucks down a life-saving pot of tea, before heading off to bed to read a trashy romance at about 6:30.

Saturday morning Shopgirl, who's cold is actually worse now, crawls out of bed and watches on the news about the craziness at some Wal Mart stores yesterday. Is once again thankful that she does not work for that company.

She heavily medicates herself, then sits down to work on school stuff. Tonight, she's once again off to Silverdale, for a 6:30-11:30 shift.

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