Friday, November 12, 2004

Home is where...

Hmm. That's a tough one.

I think I've told most everyone that my parents have pretty much sold the house in Folsom and are off to Port Ludlow, Washington. They're very excited, and I am excited for them.

But it leaves me in a bit of a quandry.

The popular old saying is, "Home is where the heart is." And this is certainly true. Perhaps this is why I'm so confused. My heart is heading off in a million directions.

Of course, I am in England. And I love England. Five years ago I left a piece of my heart here, and being back again is the most fantastic thing I have done. I can picture myself making my life here. Watching the music department of St. Peter's grow and thrive. I am finally realizing that I can make that department shine. I can help it grow to the point that people want their kids to come to St. Peter's because of the opportunities for their children in the arts.

But then there's Washington. Mom and Dad will be there, along with my sweet Millie. And we can't forget California, where my friends will be.

In all likelihood, if I return to the states at the end of this school year, I will gravitate to Washington. The comfort of being near my parents, automatically having a car to use (good ole Rosie the Protege) and, of course, the cuddles and purrs of Millie all steer me in that direction. Beyond that, California just doesn't make me happy anymore. The cost of living is too high, the summers too hot. The job market for young music teachers is frightening. I can't really see myself calling California home anymore, with my parents living somewhere else.

But (another "but"), when I think of how long I have identified myself as a California Girl, it makes me wonder if I can be anything else. I have lived in the Golden State since the age of two. No matter how long I stay in England and start to use words like "Cheers" and "loo," I don't know if I'll ever stop inserting a drawn out "Duuuude" into my conversations. I doubt I'll ever really lose that West Coast non-accent I am often complimented on in England.

I have decided not to make any decisions until at least March. The school wants me to stay, but they know that it is not a decision I can make lightly. Though I am already thinking that making my way here in England, seeing what I can accomplish with this music department, looks better all the time.

Maybe I'll just end up one of those lucky people who has homes all over the world, where people are waiting with open arms and hot tea, happy to see me.

Please know that the same welcome will always apply to all of you.

Cheers,

Meg

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