Saturday, October 29, 2005


Yeah, now it's back to normal, making me look silly.


That's What I Get...

...for playing with things I don't know how to play with. In other words, the template settings on my blog.

How it got to looking like this, I'm still not so sure. I don't dislike it, but it's not what it was, and I was perfectly happy with that. Heh.

The real reason I got into all that was to try to stick this in my blog somewhere where it would stay at the top for a few weeks, not just for as long as this post is the top one. I couldn't get it to do that, though so here it is:

Well, I just have to say that Thursday night's retail adventure was much better than Sunday's. My feet were still hurting by the end of the night, but I was busier than on Sunday. Sunday I just rode the register but Thursday I had little projects to do, which made it much more bearable. Time goes by a bit faster when you're busy.

Anyway, that's it. No witty insights today. I'm going to be lazy and work on my scrapbook. Sounds good!

Thursday, October 27, 2005

Once Upon a Time...

There was a young woman named Meg with half an hour to kill before she had to leave for work (at a job she hated).


Meg liked Kevin Spacey movies and Robbie Williams.

Meg hated her retail job but she had to keep her cat in tuna somehow.

Meg will cheer when she's able to give up retail. She will hope to stick to a strong no-retail regime of employment for a long time.

Now some might say that Meg is a for spending this much effort and time making a blog entry. To this, Meg says,

The End (of the story, not the blog update)

I'd forgotten what fun smilies are.

In the FABULOUS NEWS category, tomorrow is payday!!! It won't be much, but it will be more than I've had for a few weeks now! Woohoo!!

In case you're not counting down, Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire opens three weeks from tomorrow. I'm so counting down. I can't wait to see it and will be at the theatre that very day to see it. Woohoo!!

And that's about it. I've got a 5-hour shift tonight in Home Fashions, and then nothing 'till Sunday. Will spend Saturday going through some boxes of stuff in the storage room. Exciting life of Meg...Hmmm, guess I can't have crazy road trips every day.



Wednesday, October 26, 2005

Road Trip!!

I took an impromptu road trip to Olympia today (capitol of Washington). It's about 2 hours from here. I wish I could say that I took this trip because I was feeling young and fancy free and that I did some shopping, exploring and discovering, but that is not why I went.

I had to visit the State Patrol to be fingerprinted. Again.

Four or so weeks ago I went to the Poulsbo Police station to get fingerprints done and have them sent off for processing. I have to do this to get my WA teaching certificate. Turns out they were "rejected" yesterday. Somehow unreadable. I had two choices:

1. Go back to Poulsbo (30 minute drive), get fingerprinted again, have a chance that they'd be rejected again by the State Patrol.

2. Drive to Olympia (2 hour drive), get fingerprinted by the State Patrol, know for certain that they will NOT be rejected.

My class was early today because it was a minimum day, so 10:30 found me calling Mom and Dad asking, "Which one of you wants to keep me company and hold the map while I drive to Olympia?" They were both willing to go, and Dad ended up driving. I don't mind--I got to relax, and I got Chinese food out of it.

Do yourselves a big favor, my friends. Don't become public school teachers. The paperwork is a bitch.

Tuesday, October 25, 2005

It's Just Scrazy

Middle school kids on a windy day are scrazy.

Driving in California is scrazy.

Taking the elevator to the 900-feet-high top of the Eiffel Tower is scrazy.

What does scrazy mean, exactly?

It's what you get when you add one tired middle school music teacher, her equally tired friend in California, and AOL Instant Messenger. I meant to type "scary" but somehow, in the middle of this, my brain thought, "No, you mean 'crazy'" and that was that. My brilliant mind came up with a new word. : P

It's scrazy how I do that sometimes. It was pointed out to me at that point in the conversation that "kindergato" was a great invention, too.

But yes, it's been a bit on the scrazy side today...when you combine a fire drill, an assembly, and high winds, you get crazy kids. Every school I've worked at, people will comment on how rowdy the kids get on windy days. It's right up there with full moons. Things were just a teensy bit out of normal routine today and the kids just barely cope with it. Remind me not to dye my hair blue or anything. That might just send them into overload.


Monday, October 24, 2005

BTW, IMHO, Chat-speak is OTT

Sup, faithful readers?

My name is Megan, and I am an Internet Addict. I cruise several message boards, I have a blog, I email, I have my own space at

I understand that in our email- and text-obsessed culture, that cutting corners is sometimes necessary. I use LOL (laughing out loud) often enough in emails and on message boards to let the reader know I am being silly, funny, sarcastic, etc. You might also see me use BTW (by the way), OTT (over the top), TMI (too much information), OMG (Oh, my God) and a couple of LMAO (laughing my ass off) if something is really funny. But it has to be really funny for me to use LMAO. And who doesn't use ASAP, FAQ, and FYI? Those were around before chat and texting became all the rage.

In my forays into message boards (2 for Dale Earnhardt Jr., one for Kevin Spacey, a yahoo group for Viggo Mortensen), I see a lot of this chat-speak. It often boggles and occasionally annoys me. I can't stand people using "ne1" (anyone) and "prolly." It strikes me as pure laziness, rather than a whole movement in language. Maybe I'm just being too hard-nosed. Not everyone took typing in Summer School like I did, so they don't type as quickly as I have learned to, and without looking at their fingers (much). And, thanks to teaching middle school-aged children for four years running, I'm really not a fan of 4-eva.

On a little tangent--IMO (in my opinion) and IMHO (in my humble opinion) in a post almost always mean I'm going to disagree with that person, therefore, they annoy me, too. LOL

Now, SED. Don't know what that stands for? Wonder no more.

In other news...


I had a five-hour shift yesterday. Not too long in reality but in my poor mind it was a life-sentence. After 1 hour, I nearly cried when I realized I still had four hours to go.

After 2 hours, my left foot was sore. My right foot was fine.

After 3 hours, I had pain going up my left leg and my back was twinging (heaviest thing I lifted all day was towels so who knows what was going on there).

After 4 hours, my brain was fried. I could not speak coherently. I was telling people about the online survey in the following manner (I'm not kidding, this really happened):

"At the bottom there's a web site. On your receipt, that is." Pause. "Go there, do the survey and you'll be put in for...that is, put in a drawing we have for a $1000 gift card. For Mervyn's. Once a month." Receive confused look. Deep breath. "Right. Take the survey and it automatically enters you into a monthly drawing for a $1000 gift card for our store." Comprehension dawns.

I was giving people the wrong receipts and forgetting to bag things.

After 5 hours, I was so ready to go home. And I had to stay an extra 20 minutes because the gal who was supposed to relieve me at 5:30 didn't show up...the store knew hours earlier that she wouldn't be there but decided not to fix the situation (even after I told them, "No, I can't stay 'till 9:30") until it was actually time for me to leave. Of course, I can't leave Home Fashions unmanned.

By the time I clocked out at 5:50 I was almost speaking gibberish.

I have a blessed reprieve until Thursday evening.

You know, it's not the customers so much. It's the pure tedium of rearranging the same bunch of towels or bed linens over and over again that makes my head implode. People think I have masochistic tendencies because I enjoy teaching pubescent 'tweens. But let me tell ya...that job is never boring.

Moving on...

I have to shout out a big, huge congratulations to my friend Teresa (also known as T-Bird Soprano) in Sacramento. Last Tuesday she gave birth to a healthy, beautiful baby boy, Ian Michael. I haven't seen pictures, but I know he must be beautiful. And I am happy for Teresa and her husband...she sounded ecstatic.

That's all for today. : )



Saturday, October 22, 2005

Good News for PMSing Women the World Over

Turns out that there is more about chocolate to love than just its taste and its ability to make PMS seem very far away.

I love dark chocolate...hell, I love any chocolate, so this is very nice news. Of course, as with anything, moderation is key. Still, I think a trip to the nearby mini-mart is in order...

Friday, October 21, 2005

Ten Hours???

Okay, so, granted, I'm not thrilled to be working in retail again (however temporary it may be), but I was expecting to get more than TEN hours in my first week after training. I have to work 5 hours on Sunday and 5 on Thursday night.

The bright side of this is that I still get plenty of time for school stuff--grading, planning, cleaning up, being a therapist, etc. The big bright side is that I don't have any crack-of-dawn shifts to worry about. Because driving across the Hood Canal Bridge (third longest floating bridge in the world) is easy enough--when it's not half-closed for nighttime construction, or levering open in the middle to let marine traffic through. I'd have to leave at 4:00 in the morning to make it to a 5:00 am shift at the store.

Incidentally, Hood Canal is not actually a canal, as my dad likes to point out. It's a fjord. And the reason it has a floating bridge? It's about a mile-and-a-half wide and it's average depth is 500 feet.

It's quite impressive, actually.

Too Scary for the Kids...

Turns out the next Harry Potter movie is a wee bit too scary for the younger among us. Parents, be warned. Children might get a bit nervous. Having read the book, I can completely understand.


I don't want to see Voldemort come back to life myself, particularly. I'll probably have a few scaredy-cat moments of my own. Though Ralph Fiennes is sure to be marvelous in the role.


Friday Funnies

Who needs Brad Pitt?

And now, Law and Order S.V.U. is on, so I'm off to watch and start my weekend.



Thursday, October 20, 2005

Well, That's Annoying

Usually my personal info and links only move to the bottom of the page when I post pictures. I can't begin to imagine why they've moved down after a simple words-only post.

Aaaannnnd...I probably have too much time on my hands, to be worrying about it.

Right. Stepping away from the computer...

Too Much Internet Time...

Letting Go of the California Girl

I drove to the Poulsbo department of licensing yesterday, armed with my California license and the $20 Dad had told me the written test would cost. Turns out I was short one form of identification and 25 bucks.

So I went back today and forked over my passport and $45. I was fully ready to take the written test (Mom and Dad had to when they moved here) but they just clicked my picture, had me sign a card, and scanned a nifty little cardboard license that will work until I get the real one in the mail.

And the picture is even better than my previous license. : )

What I'm Wondering About This Week

Besides how much my first Mervyn's paycheck will bring to my nearly-empty coffers.

Right, seeing as I'm conserving money, gasoline and frantically trying to plan weeks and weeks' worth of lessons (once they really get me working at Mervyn's, count on me having a LOT less computer time), I have been spending a lot of time at the computer, with the World Wide Weird at my fingertips.

Anyway, I've been wondering about Harriet Miers.

I came across an interesting article from the Guardian (UK newspaper) about how Miers has to rewrite her answers to what is usually a formality--a questionnaire on her background and opinions.

I'm not interested in political lines. I have my liberal views, and I have my conservative views. I'm about as straight-down-the-middle, spare-me-the-partisan-crap-and-just-give-me-facts as you can get. My faithful blog readers know where my heart lies when it comes to our current administration. That doesn't matter. I just find it very interesting that both Democrats and Republicans think Miers' answers to the questionnaire are "insufficient" and "incomplete to insulting."

Even conservative women are keeping a "deafening silence" on Miers until they know more.

Just makes me wonder...

Also Wondering...What'd He Do With the Animals?

I've heard of trying to get out of jury duty, but this is a bit OTT (Over the Top).

Other Tidbits From My Second-Favorite British Newspaper (The Independent)

My favorite being The Economist.

"Women are crap," says ad guru

"The assertion from a man who says he is ever-conscious of his own "brand" did not go without response from female colleagues. Nancy Vonk, co-chief creative officer at the WPP subsidiary Ogilvy in Toronto, said that while she felt "honoured" he counted her among his friends, her esteem had its limits."

Homer becomes Omar for Arab makeover of Simpsons

"Omar may look the same as in the series that debuted in 1987, but he has swapped Duff beer for soft drinks; no longer hangs out at "seedy bars with bums and lowlifes" - Moe no longer owns a bar - and eats barbequed Egyptian beef sausages instead of non-Halal hotdogs. He even grazes on Arab kahk cookies in place of doughnuts."

Writing, Writing, Writing

You may have noticed I've been updating a lot this week. I have really felt like writing. As I have no solid ideas, I've been randomly commenting on articles and other stuff I find on the Internet. It's kind of fun for me. I am looking for a Big Idea and exploring the possibility of incorporating more writing into my life/career. I've always enjoyed it.

Bella and Duchess

Babies are fine. They seem to be healing nicely after their big operation on Tuesday. If playfulness is any indication, they're back to normal, aside from having bald tummies and a few stitches. Right now Duchess is sitting at the top of the stairs (I can see her from here), with her tail daintily wrapped around her body and her hair sticking up at all angles. We call her a "Fuzz Explosion." She has taken to me...which I don't mind, except that it kind of pushes Millie away. She'll be cuddling with me and BAM! A kitten lands on her.

It's not easy being a big sister.

That's All Folks

For tonight, anyway.



Wednesday, October 19, 2005

Oh, Gwyneth, How Wrong You Are!!

London has cleaner streets than Rome, I can tell you that!!

The Phone Just Rang...

It was TeachLondon.

Yeah, you read that right. I have renewed communications with TeachLondon. Please note--this is NOT confirmation of intentions to return to England next year. It is simply a matter of keeping my options open.

I won't lie--some days, I miss England so much I think about hopping on the next available plane and going back. And then there are days when I really see the possibilities that lie in this part of the world. I suppose it all rests on how I feel in 6 months, a year, and beyond.

I have often joked that if there is such thing as reincarnation, then my past 5 or 6 lives (at least!) I was English, and then suddenly, in this life, I was plopped down in the U.S. Either that, or I'm just 100% Anglo-phile. Maybe all that tea just finally went to my head.

Before you all start worrying that a future adventure in England would mean more anguished emails and blog posts about indecision and hating my job, let me just state here and now that I would definitely research any school thoroughly before taking a job there! Any hint of the words "special measures" and I'd run quickly in the other direction.

I could really dig being in England again. Maybe its the Jaffa Cakes Donna sent me (which I've just eaten, finally), or maybe its the fact that my trousers are a teensy bit tight because I never walk anymore (back to the gym for me!)...whatever it is, I really could see myself going back, marrying some English bloke, and raising a kid or two who call me "Mummy."

Is Robbie Williams still single?

Tuesday, October 18, 2005

Big Day in Kittygarten...and Other Random News and Thoughts

The Kindergato Rite of Passage

Both babies were spayed today. Mom took them to Oak Bay Animal Hospital this morning and left them. We've had plenty of cats, and we know that spaying an animal is a routine procedure, but it is so hard sending a baby animal off to have its tummy cut into.

Both girls made it through just fine, and we have now brought them home to rest and recover. No resting, here, though! They're wired at the moment, though I'm sure any minute now they'll crash on the sofa.

Everyone at Oak Bay loved our girls. Apparently they were in the same cage in recovery and cuddled the whole time.

The most tragic thing is that they had to shave off Duchess' tummy fuzz. Hope it grows back quickly, 'cause her tummy fuzz is adorable.

When a NASCAR Addiction Goes Too Far

I love NASCAR. I watch every weekend, I read the message boards. I think some of those guys are pretty hot.

That said, I also have a job. And hobbies. And a family. And a LIFE.

People who have the time, energy or desire to keep track of this stuff are in serious need of an intervention.

I found this linked on the blog of Dale Earnhardt Jr.'s publicity guy. He calls it "totally creepy."

I concur.

Where's Your Spot?

Heather sent me this in an email a week or two ago. I took the survey and found out what my Top Spots are. Turns out, when I'm in the USA, my top spots are mostly in the Pacific Northwest or New England. My top 5 are:

Eugene, Oregon The Emerald City

Corvallis, Oregon Heart of the Willamette Valley

Olympia, Washington The Evergreen Capital

Seattle, Washington The Emerald City

Providence, Rhode Island New England’s Best Kept Kept Secret

I thought that was funny, that my top spots are very much what I'm living in. Olympia and Seattle are both within 50 miles of here.

Of course, when considering my top spots out of the USA, I don't need a survey to tell me that England is Number 1.

Meg's Newest Addiction

Since I've been back Stateside (two-and-a-half months now...blimey!), I've noticed that my Dad has an addiction to all of those crime-solver shows. His big favorites are the Law and Order franchise, Cold Case, Without a Trace, CSI, CSI New York, and CSI Miami.

Most of these I can take or leave, but I've always loved the Lennie Briscoe Law and Order shows. I was so sad when Jerry Orbach died last winter.

Anyway, I've become addicted to Law and Order: Special Victims Unit. It's on USA channel every day at 4:00, and I've been tuning in lately.

I also like Cold Case. They use flashbacks and music really creatively and it's a very compellling show.

Oops! I'm That Desperate for Publicity!

Nothing Britney does anymore surprises me. Her poor kid...

I'm also disturbed by the whole TomKat thing, but that's another subject for another blog...

And that's that for today. Dinner's ready so I'm off to eat chicken and dumplings while reading Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone.



Monday, October 17, 2005

So Not a Barbie Girl

I'm a barbie girl, in the barbie world
Life in plastic, it's fantastic!
you can brush my hair, undress me everywhere
Imagination, life is your creation
Come on Barbie, let's go party!

--From "Barbie Girl" by Aqua

Growing up, I was never much of a fan of Barbie. While I did go through the "Barbie and the Rockers" phase (and I'll never unlearn their theme song, apparently), I was more into My Little Pony and Cabbage Patch Kids. Most of my Barbie dolls and their experimental haircuts ended up in a box in Mom and Dad's attic.

I don't remember ever wishing to be just like Barbie, but I can tell you that as I hit puberty and beyond, I did struggle with body image just like the next girl. Is Barbie to blame for society's obsession with super-thin tummies and unnaturally big boobs? No. Is she a convenient scapegoat in our outrage over 12-year-olds with anorexia and the fitting room horrors adult women are subjected to? Yes. Should be blame Mattel for these things? No.

But they're certainly not taking the right tack this time...

My first thought when I saw this headline was, "Yeah, because thousands of women want to go around in head-to-toe bubblegum pink."

Then I read the article and I was astounded by a few points.

1. "When a teen or 20-something is carrying an Anya Hindmarch, Barbie bag it'll reinforce Barbie as relevant, cool brand for little girls," said Dickson. "Little girls are growing up faster than ever and looking to adults and teens for inspiration, and Barbie is their aspiration."

This blows me away. Marketing towards children is getting way out of hand. And why are we striving so hard to make little girls grow up faster? From Barbie to JLo to Britney, sweet little girls who should be in head-to-toe pink ruffles are wearing short skirts, crop tops and baring their decolatage. Walk through any kids department at any retail store and you'll see racks and racks of clothes you wouldn't dream of putting a little girl in. It's like an open invitation to the perverts of the world!

2. The items aren't cheap, with jeans priced at $176 and a 3/4 sleeve hooded sweatshirt at $140, and this helps add to the cachet of the brand, which is designed to be "aspirational."

Dickson said Mattel is making a point to keep Barbie Luxe as a specialty collection and the prices a bit out of reach.

Well, thank you, Mattel. Rub it in that on my teacher's salary, I have to buy my 3/4 sleeve hooded sweatshirts for $24.99.

That's not really an issue for me. I prefer to buy durable, comfortable clothing that is going to last (and not go out of fashion in five minutes) because I have to have things I can wear in what I do. And what I do is run around for long periods of time, never sitting down, with a small but ever-present possibility that someone could vomit on me when I least expect it. This is why I try (key word here is TRY) to keep myself in check in the shoe department. Much as I would love to buy them, those Jimmy Choos would hardly be practical in a middle school setting.

3. Barbie has a special relationship with women," said Dickson. "It takes them back to being a little girl and fantasizing about what they're going to be in the future."

Only if they're fantasizing about having the dream wedding to the dream man with the pink Corvette and a closet full of skimpy clothes.

On a recent Target excursion with Heather, imagine our dismay when we came across a CD-ROM game called, "My Fantasy Wedding". It is not a Barbie-related product but the image on the cover makes it look like one. It is a game for young girls to sit around designing their dream wedding. If I had a little girl, I'd be buying the CD-ROM of "You Might Not Get Married 'Till Well Into Your 30s...Design a Happy, Self-Sufficient Life (Include an Education, For God's Sake) 'Cause Marriage Isn't Gonna Be the End-All."

If I should be blessed with a daughter someday, I want her to live her life like I have learned to live mine--on her terms.

I could go on for hours about the pressure young women face in society to get married or have a man. I have friends who hate being single. A good friend in England would sometimes lament that people younger than she were getting marriend and "look at me...26 and don't even have a boyfriend."

I've been a Singleton long enough to tell you that this line of thinking is rubbish.

If my little-girl fantasies about boyfriends and romance hadn't been abruptly altered by a couple of very immature young men in college, I would never have found the courage to go to London Semester. If my little-girl fantasies of being married by the time I was 25 had come true, I can tell you one thing: I never would have gone to England to teach.

Again, I could go on for hours.

So you can imagine my surprise and dismay when I saw this article the other day. Normal women suffer enough already at the hands of fashion (can anyone tell me what the point of those little shrug cardigans is??), we hardly need Barbie coming back to haunt us.

Wednesday, October 12, 2005

Jaffa Cakes

What a happy, happy afternoon!

First, what are Jaffa Cakes?

They are little shorbread biscuits with a dollop of marmalade and a coating of chocloate. They have a low calorie count and they are delicious. And, of course, very British.

I loooove Jaffa Cakes. I ate them fairly regularly because they were a somewhat guilt-free treat. I didn't have enough room to bring any home with me, so it's been a couple of months since I've had any.

A few weeks ago, I sent off a big letter to my girlfriends in England. I think I added it as a P.S. but I did say, "Anyone who sends me Jaffa Cakes will get American treats."

Imagine my surprise when I opened the mailbox today and found a small package addressed to me from my friend Donna. The customs form said, "Jaffa Cakes." The neighbors must think I'm mad because I stood there at the mailbox giggling and saying, "She didn't!!!"

Donna, for those of you who haven't heard about her, worked in the canteen at St. Peter's. She served tea and coffee in the staff room each day, and sold snacks. Since she's in my age-range, we would chat and we became good friends. It was her Hen Night that found me dressed as Bridget Jones, pulling a fit English construction worker. I also went to her wedding in late July, just a week before coming home.

I've been a bit blue lately, missing England and the people there, and missing my friends in Sacramento. I'm also flat broke until my first paycheck comes so I can't even go out and do something fun. I'm even rationing gas! I get about 28 miles to the gallon but I'm still being very conservative.

This definitely brought a huge smile to my face and heart today. Donna is like that, though. She made sure I always had my morning tea in the Snoopy mug and even gave it to me as a departure gift. I can't think of a sweeter, kinder person at St. Peter's, and there were quite a few people there that I liked a lot.

And no, I'm not sharing my Jaffa Cakes. They come 12 to a package, and I'm going to hoard them, savor them and enjoy every last crumb!



Tuesday, October 11, 2005


Second Job

Well, I start at the local Mervyn's tomorrow. I can't say I'm thrilled to work retail again but it will bring in some money until my WA certification is complete. Then I can sub and make better money (and have way better hours). I figure I'll stay at Mervyn's through Christmas. I can use the discount to replenish my wardrobe, as I left a lot of stuff at a charity shop in England, including my winter coat. And working there will help me feed my shoe addiction. : )

The Teaching Gig

It's going well. I'm making progress with some of the difficult students. Tomorrow is a minimum day, so I only have to teach for 27 minutes. I'll just be giving a worksheet or something. I've been establishing my disciplinary policies and contacting parents about bad behavior. So far they are quite supportive and a few kids have started settling down. They just need to be reminded that I won't tolerate certain behaviors.

All in all, way easier than St. Peter's.

Travel Plans

Right, as soon as I have some money, I want to visit Sacramento and see everyone there. That will probably happen sometime in the spring, so I have time to save up and make plans.

I also want to go to Victoria, British Columbia. I can get a ferry there from Port Angeles, which is about 40 miles from here. Everyone tells me that Victoria is a miniature England. I'm so there.

And That is All

My life hasn't been all that wild of late, but it's all absolutely true! Things will get more exciting now that I'm a working girl again...especially once that first paycheck comes in.



Friday, October 07, 2005

Kittygarten 2005 Yearbook

TA Millie and the Kindergatos (Bella's the one NOT looking at the camera):

Ornithology lesson:

Teacher Meg and Duchess, kindergato extraordinaire:

Phys. Ed:

Naptime (in Teacher Meg's room, on her sweater):

Naptime on Principal Mom's lap:

Grumpy Queen Kitty Maggie and TA Millie (who she tolerates)

And finally, their formal school photo:

Tuesday, October 04, 2005


Here in the Cooper house, we offer an excellent Kittygarten program for all kindergatos. We provide a safe, loving and stimulating environment to help kindergatos grow into affectionate, law-abiding cats.

Staff includes Principals Mom and Dad, Teacher Meg, and Teacher Assistant Millie. Queen Kitty is Maggie.

The following is an approximate daily schedule.

7:00 Snack Time
Location: Kitchen

At the start of the day, kindergatos are given a couple of kitty cookies to boost energy.

7:05-8:30 Physical Education (Soccer and Hunting)
Location: Downstairs

Using our professional-quality playing surface (wood floors), kindergatos participate in a rousing morning game of soccer, using ping-pong balls, fuzzy mice or whatever is available.

Hunting is also a popular activity. Kindergatos learn to hunt any of the following: toys, toes, kitten tails (including their own), dust motes, older cats.

8:30-8:45 Nutrition
Location: Kitchen

Kindergatos are taught balanced nutrition in this course, informally known as Tuna Time. Principal Mom or Dad serve a tasty bowl of tuna to each pupil. The kittens have been exposed to a large variety of quality canned fish meals.

8:45-9:00 Personal Hygiene
Location: Sofa

Our kindergatos are encouraged to practice excellent personal hygeine. Following nutrition, a good face-washing is in order. Kindergatos retire to the sofa to take care of this, under the watchful eye of TA Millie.

9:00-9:30 Elective--Ornithology (bird-watching)
Location: Living Room

Our kindergatos study birds in a state-of-the art center which includes large picture-window Bird TV. This course helps kindergatos develop the ability to sit still and concentrate for long periods of time. Our pupils also have many opportunities to see squirrels.

9:30-12:30 Naptime
Location: Sofa

Kindergatos need plenty of time to rest after a busy morning of Kittygarten fun. Naptime takes place on a super-comfy plush red couch in the living room, where kindergatos are given an opportunity to use the "Sweet Spot," a dip in the sofa cushions under a very warm lamp.

12:30-1:30 Elective--Arts and Crafts
Location: Loft Room or Living Room

Kindergatos are given an opportunity to indulge their creativity in our well-stocked craft room. Common activities are knot-untying (practicing on the seat cushion at the scrapbook table) and paper-shredding (whatever bits are on the floor). This class can also take place in the living room, where Mom's current craft project can be scattered about.

1:30-5:00 Naptime
Location: Sofa or Human Lap

Much of the afternoon on a typical day in Kittygarten is spent napping, either on the sofa or on a human lap. Principals Mom and Dad and Teacher Meg are always happy to host a kindergato for a cuddle.

This course is often supervised by TA Millie, who continues with the kindergatos' lessons in personal hygeine by giving them a thorough cleaning while they drift off to sleep.

5:00-7:00 Physical Education
Location: Whole House

During the evening session of PE, kindergatos are given an opportunity to participate in the following:

Stair Running
Jumping (using the state-of-the-art Heather's toy)
Furniture Climbing
Post Scratching

7:00-9:00 Media Studies
Location: Living Room

Kindergatos are given opportunities to watch all the funny moving things on the TV screen. Most often this turns into naptime.

9:00-10:00 Physical Education (Night Session)
Location: Meg's Room and Bridge

Kindergatos participate in wrestling and boxing in a large, soft ring (Meg's bed). Boxing skills are honed on high-quality human-foot punching bags. Points deducted for toe-biting.

The kindergatos can also play a rousing game of Chase on the bridge from Meg's room to the craft room, supervised by Meg as she prepares for bed and refereed by TA Millie.

10:00-7:00 Sleep
Location: Meg's Bed

Kindergatos wind down after a long, full day of Kittygarten by cuddling up to Meg and Millie. Points deducted from grade for waking Meg.

Daily Learning Opportunities are presented in all daily courses in the following:

Our current pupils have mastered:

"Let me out!!"
"Let me in!!"
"Pass the ball/mouse/crinkle/fuzz to me!!"
"Stop biting my ears!!"
"Get away from my tuna..."
And, most importantly: "Puurrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr"

Mathematics "There are four cookies. Duchess gets two of them. How many go to Bella? That's right--TWO. Stop stealing Duchess' cookies."

Ettiquette Kindergatos are encouraged to be friendly to all cats, not bite or scratch, stay out of the houseplants, and in proper use of the litterbox. Both have earned straight A's in litterbox use.

Our Kittygarten offers these exciting courses every day, but we also offer other courses and opportunities from time to time, including:

Diplomacy 101
The art of making friends with grumpy Queen Kitty Maggie.

Foreign Relations Learning to not freak out when the humans have company.

Health and Safety Field trips to the veterinarian.

Interior Design Our kindergatos have learned to rearrange houseplants, knock un-breakable items off of tables, disturb rugs, etc.

As you can see, we offer a full program for all kindergatos wishing to grow into healthy, happy cats.

Please note: I came up with the term "Kittygarten" last night while taking a long soak in the tub--observed by two wide-eye fuzzy faces. It might have ended there, but I was kept awake by a late-night wrestling match, for which both kindergatos were docked points from the behavior grade. Cheers, Meg