So Not a Barbie Girl

I'm a barbie girl, in the barbie world
Life in plastic, it's fantastic!
you can brush my hair, undress me everywhere
Imagination, life is your creation
Come on Barbie, let's go party!

--From "Barbie Girl" by Aqua

Growing up, I was never much of a fan of Barbie. While I did go through the "Barbie and the Rockers" phase (and I'll never unlearn their theme song, apparently), I was more into My Little Pony and Cabbage Patch Kids. Most of my Barbie dolls and their experimental haircuts ended up in a box in Mom and Dad's attic.

I don't remember ever wishing to be just like Barbie, but I can tell you that as I hit puberty and beyond, I did struggle with body image just like the next girl. Is Barbie to blame for society's obsession with super-thin tummies and unnaturally big boobs? No. Is she a convenient scapegoat in our outrage over 12-year-olds with anorexia and the fitting room horrors adult women are subjected to? Yes. Should be blame Mattel for these things? No.

But they're certainly not taking the right tack this time...

My first thought when I saw this headline was, "Yeah, because thousands of women want to go around in head-to-toe bubblegum pink."

Then I read the article and I was astounded by a few points.

1. "When a teen or 20-something is carrying an Anya Hindmarch, Barbie bag it'll reinforce Barbie as relevant, cool brand for little girls," said Dickson. "Little girls are growing up faster than ever and looking to adults and teens for inspiration, and Barbie is their aspiration."

This blows me away. Marketing towards children is getting way out of hand. And why are we striving so hard to make little girls grow up faster? From Barbie to JLo to Britney, sweet little girls who should be in head-to-toe pink ruffles are wearing short skirts, crop tops and baring their decolatage. Walk through any kids department at any retail store and you'll see racks and racks of clothes you wouldn't dream of putting a little girl in. It's like an open invitation to the perverts of the world!

2. The items aren't cheap, with jeans priced at $176 and a 3/4 sleeve hooded sweatshirt at $140, and this helps add to the cachet of the brand, which is designed to be "aspirational."

Dickson said Mattel is making a point to keep Barbie Luxe as a specialty collection and the prices a bit out of reach.

Well, thank you, Mattel. Rub it in that on my teacher's salary, I have to buy my 3/4 sleeve hooded sweatshirts for $24.99.

That's not really an issue for me. I prefer to buy durable, comfortable clothing that is going to last (and not go out of fashion in five minutes) because I have to have things I can wear in what I do. And what I do is run around for long periods of time, never sitting down, with a small but ever-present possibility that someone could vomit on me when I least expect it. This is why I try (key word here is TRY) to keep myself in check in the shoe department. Much as I would love to buy them, those Jimmy Choos would hardly be practical in a middle school setting.

3. Barbie has a special relationship with women," said Dickson. "It takes them back to being a little girl and fantasizing about what they're going to be in the future."

Only if they're fantasizing about having the dream wedding to the dream man with the pink Corvette and a closet full of skimpy clothes.

On a recent Target excursion with Heather, imagine our dismay when we came across a CD-ROM game called, "My Fantasy Wedding". It is not a Barbie-related product but the image on the cover makes it look like one. It is a game for young girls to sit around designing their dream wedding. If I had a little girl, I'd be buying the CD-ROM of "You Might Not Get Married 'Till Well Into Your 30s...Design a Happy, Self-Sufficient Life (Include an Education, For God's Sake) 'Cause Marriage Isn't Gonna Be the End-All."

If I should be blessed with a daughter someday, I want her to live her life like I have learned to live mine--on her terms.

I could go on for hours about the pressure young women face in society to get married or have a man. I have friends who hate being single. A good friend in England would sometimes lament that people younger than she were getting marriend and "look at me...26 and don't even have a boyfriend."

I've been a Singleton long enough to tell you that this line of thinking is rubbish.

If my little-girl fantasies about boyfriends and romance hadn't been abruptly altered by a couple of very immature young men in college, I would never have found the courage to go to London Semester. If my little-girl fantasies of being married by the time I was 25 had come true, I can tell you one thing: I never would have gone to England to teach.

Again, I could go on for hours.

So you can imagine my surprise and dismay when I saw this article the other day. Normal women suffer enough already at the hands of fashion (can anyone tell me what the point of those little shrug cardigans is??), we hardly need Barbie coming back to haunt us.