A few weeks ago, I was at the Roseville gym, dutifully doing my plank exercises on G. the Trainer's orders. I was to try for one whole minute of balancing on my elbows and toes, something I was still struggling with. Thirty seconds is doable; sixty is pushing it.
Quite by chance, my iPod playlist turned to "Bend and Break" (link embedded, give it a listen, as it's a great tune!) just as I pushed myself off the ground and into the dreaded plank position. I giggled quietly to myself (so as not to scare my fellow gym rats) because the first line of the chorus so cleverly summed up my own thoughts as I struggled to hold the plank: "If only I don't bend and break..."
Since then, whenever I've had to start an exercise I'm not particularly fond of, I play "Bend and Break" and smile to myself. It's come a little bit of a workout theme song for me.
This week, obviously, I have hit a hurdle in my training regime. Running is not coming easily to me, but I know that I have to do it if I want to be successful in losing weight. But God, it's so painful!
After Monday's adventure with G. the Meanie, I dutifully showed up at the gym on Tuesday to do another mile-and-a-half. There were no treadmills, so I ended up on the stairclimber. But Wednesday, there was no putting it off: I had to get on the treadmill and give it a go. Minimum speed: 4.0 miles per hour.
I tuned my iPod to "Bend and Break" and got going. G. was working with another client, and I'm still wondering how I wasn't able to burn holes in his back with my patented Teacher Death Glare (renamed, for the occasion, the Disgruntled Runner's Death Glare).
It wasn't pleasant, and it was not pretty, either. I gasped, I choked. Sweat ran in rivers down my face, neck, back and arms. But I made it that entire mile-and-a-half, with minimal holding on to the bar (a no-no).
My legs were screaming. My whole body was complaining. I wanted to cry. And worst of all, the tickle that had started in my throat earlier in the day was rapidly progressing into "uh-oh" territory. Turns out I can't avoid getting a cold this winter.
I wanted, desperately, to go home, but I had my assignment. I climbed on board the Stairmaster and did 20 minutes. Over the last few weeks, this machine has become easier for me. Not without pain, mind you, but normally I'm not hanging on for dear life and struggling not to fall off the damned thing.
I made it my full time and wearily plodded back to the women's locker room to retrieve my bag. As I left a few minutes later, a voice came from a nearby weight machine.
"Hey, Megan! What'd you do today?"
I swear this guy has a radar. He can find his clients in a crowded gym. Then he checks up on them.
I gave him the details, followed by a whiny (I admit it!), "I think I'm getting a cold."
"Work through it."
*grimace*
"Seriously, you have to work through it. What's happening is that your body is working really hard to recover from Monday's run, and it compromises your immune system." He suggested a multivitamin and an anti-oxidant.
Today, I stayed home from work, because my throat was still irritated, and I was coughing this morning. A day on the couch made me feel marginally better, and I had an appointment with G. today. Not wanting to lose the hour I've already paid for, I strapped on my fancy cardio shoes and walked to the gym. By the time I got there, I felt a little bit winded--just from walking! This did not bode well.
After some stretching, I jumped on a treadmill and got going. A mile-and-a-half. Put on "Bend and Break." You can do this! You are fabulous! You are a runner!
You are so deluding yourself.
I made it one mile. It was incredibly difficult, but I made it that one mile. My legs hurt, my breath was labored. I was near tears from frustration and a sudden, irrational anger at G. He's pushing me too hard! I'm not ready for this!
Into the locker room I went, telling myself, "I gotta pee." That would be my excuse when G. asked, "Why only a mile today?!" at our appointment. I locked myself in a stall and immediately the tears started leaking out of my eyes.
I hate crying in public. HATE IT. I can't stand that vulnerability, that public display of my anxiety and inability to handle stress.
But then the most amazing thing happened. From somewhere, deep inside, Hot Girl came up screaming. Quitting just isn't allowed, according to Hot Girl. There was half a mile to go, and by God, Fat Girl was going to get off her lazy butt, dry her eyes, put on her big girl panties, and deal with it!
As I walked back out into the gym, I felt calm. I got back on the treadmill and started going. Half a mile isn't that much. I started off at a confident trot. It lasted about two minutes. I slowed. I gasped. I grabbed the bar, then quickly let go. Sweat dripped. My legs begged for mercy. Fat Girl eyed the STOP button, but Hot Girl swatted her hand away and said a resounding, "NO!"
I reached four-tenths of a mile--only one-tenth to go. I was so very tired, but instead of quitting, I did something amazing.
I sped up.
Running at 4.3 miles per hour, I pushed myself that last tenth.
With the chorus of "Bend and Break" playing on a loop in my head, I crossed the finish line in a blaze of...if not glory, at least pride.
Tomorrow, I'll run again. It will hurt. I will hate every minute of it. But I will do it. And someday, I'll leap over this hurdle for the last time.
Thursday, January 14, 2010
Tuesday, January 12, 2010
Phenomenal Women: Miep Gies
Originally, I thought to make Maya Angelou my first Phenomenal Woman post, but the passing this week of Miep Gies helped change my mind.
Miep Gies was the best kind of phenomenal woman. She selflessly risked her own life to help hide eight Jewish people during the Nazi reign of terror in the 1940s. One of the people she hid was, of course, Anne Frank, famous after her death for her diaries.
Gies, through the Nazi occupation, proved to be a loyal employee and friend to the Frank family, smuggling food rations to them, and news of the world from which they had to hide.
The big heroine in this amazing store is usually Anne, the lively young woman whose thoughts and writings have captivated millions of readers the world over. But Gies' role in the story is just as important: without her, the Frank family certainly would have died sooner.
To write this post, I turned to Google (as I always do) to find out more about Miep Gies. I admit, I knew very little of her, except that she acted courageously in the face of Nazi terror. My search yielded a most enlightening interview, in which she answers the questions of young students.
Her answers to the many questions posed about Hitler, World War Two, the Nazis, the Frank family, and in her part in saving Anne's diary, in the simple hope of being able to return it to the young author at a later time, show a woman of true good character, unwilling to sacrifice people she admired and cared for to make things safer for herself.
I don't have words of my own to accurately describe this incredible woman, so I will let some sample questions and answers from the interview do the talking.
I am a nine-year-old Jew. I am very interested in learning about the Holocaust. How could you be so heroic if you were so afraid? Did the Nazis ever find you?
Even if you are afraid, you can still find it more important to do your human duty, and that is to assist people who need more help. I don't consider myself heroic. To tell you, I was more afraid of the many sleepless nights and the unhappy life I would have afterward had I refused to help.
How does it feel to be a hero?
I don't want to be considered a hero. Imagine young people would grow up with the feeling that you have to be a hero to do your human duty. I am afraid nobody would ever help other people, because who is a hero? I was not. I was just an ordinary housewife and secretary.
If you had to hide the Franks again, would you do it?
Yes, I would help again. Although, some people (rightfully) state that I could have not saved Anne's life, I still helped her to live another two years. During these years she wrote her wonderful diary, touching the heart of millions of people and inspiring them. Because I could rescue this diary, it was not a lost effort. From this we learn that it is always better to try. Sure failure results from not trying. My decision to help Otto was because I saw no alternative. I could foresee many sleepless nights and an unhappy life if I would refuse. And that was not the kind of future I wanted to for myself. Permanent remorse about failing to do your human duty, in my opinion, can be worse than losing your life.
The full interview can be found here; I encourage you to read it.
Gies' thoughts on prejudice were especially strong. She remained adamant, until the end of her life, that no one should have to die, or suffer persecution for being a different religion or race.
Gies passed away yesterday, having lived 101 years. Her loyalty and her willingness to help when so many wouldn't, make her a Phenomenal Woman.
Miep Gies was the best kind of phenomenal woman. She selflessly risked her own life to help hide eight Jewish people during the Nazi reign of terror in the 1940s. One of the people she hid was, of course, Anne Frank, famous after her death for her diaries.Gies, through the Nazi occupation, proved to be a loyal employee and friend to the Frank family, smuggling food rations to them, and news of the world from which they had to hide.
The big heroine in this amazing store is usually Anne, the lively young woman whose thoughts and writings have captivated millions of readers the world over. But Gies' role in the story is just as important: without her, the Frank family certainly would have died sooner.
To write this post, I turned to Google (as I always do) to find out more about Miep Gies. I admit, I knew very little of her, except that she acted courageously in the face of Nazi terror. My search yielded a most enlightening interview, in which she answers the questions of young students.
Her answers to the many questions posed about Hitler, World War Two, the Nazis, the Frank family, and in her part in saving Anne's diary, in the simple hope of being able to return it to the young author at a later time, show a woman of true good character, unwilling to sacrifice people she admired and cared for to make things safer for herself.
I don't have words of my own to accurately describe this incredible woman, so I will let some sample questions and answers from the interview do the talking.
I am a nine-year-old Jew. I am very interested in learning about the Holocaust. How could you be so heroic if you were so afraid? Did the Nazis ever find you?
Even if you are afraid, you can still find it more important to do your human duty, and that is to assist people who need more help. I don't consider myself heroic. To tell you, I was more afraid of the many sleepless nights and the unhappy life I would have afterward had I refused to help.
How does it feel to be a hero?
I don't want to be considered a hero. Imagine young people would grow up with the feeling that you have to be a hero to do your human duty. I am afraid nobody would ever help other people, because who is a hero? I was not. I was just an ordinary housewife and secretary.
If you had to hide the Franks again, would you do it?
Yes, I would help again. Although, some people (rightfully) state that I could have not saved Anne's life, I still helped her to live another two years. During these years she wrote her wonderful diary, touching the heart of millions of people and inspiring them. Because I could rescue this diary, it was not a lost effort. From this we learn that it is always better to try. Sure failure results from not trying. My decision to help Otto was because I saw no alternative. I could foresee many sleepless nights and an unhappy life if I would refuse. And that was not the kind of future I wanted to for myself. Permanent remorse about failing to do your human duty, in my opinion, can be worse than losing your life.
The full interview can be found here; I encourage you to read it.
Gies' thoughts on prejudice were especially strong. She remained adamant, until the end of her life, that no one should have to die, or suffer persecution for being a different religion or race.
The message to take from Anne's story is to stop prejudice and discrimination right at its beginning. Prejudice starts when we speak about THE Jews, THE Arabs, THE Asians, THE Mexicans, THE Blacks, THE Whites. This leads to the feeling that all members of each such group think and act the same. That results in prejudice. Lumping entire groups of people together is RACISM, because it denies the fact that everyone is an individual. Even our own brothers and sisters or parents are not exactly like we are. So how do we dare to lump entire groups of people together? If any German had ever asked Anne to tell something about herself, I think she would be still with us today. However, nobody asked: she was just a Jew! Therefore, never base your opinion about anybody else on the color of that person's skin, or on the passport that a person carries, or on the family that person comes from, but only on what the person says and does and on NOTHING ELSE.
Gies passed away yesterday, having lived 101 years. Her loyalty and her willingness to help when so many wouldn't, make her a Phenomenal Woman.
Monday, January 11, 2010
I Am Not A Runner
I did not lose weight this week. Therefore, G., my sadistic unfeeling nasty trainer made me run today. A mile-and-a-half. Actually, it was a pitiful jog. But there was no walking. And I didn't stop. He wouldn't let me. The one time I did a little jog-hobble-walk move, he threatened to make it two miles. So I pushed. And wheezed.
The couple of times he let me lag behind him (this was such a walk in the park for this dude) I delighted in rolling my eyes, or giving him the finger. But I jogged that whole stupid mile-and-a-half, outside, in the cold. My nose ran. My thighs and back started aching. My shins went numb (Hey! No shin splints!).
I thought I might die. For a few minutes, I wanted to. But I didn't die.
"Come on, Megan! How old are you? Twenty-seven?"
*gasp* *choke* "THURRRTEEEEWUUNNNN!!" *wheeze* *whimper*
"You are a young woman, Megan. I can push you to do this because you're not going to have a heart attack."
"IIIIIMIIIIGHT" *gasp* "THROOOOOWWUHHHHP." *whine*
But I didn't throw up. My heart pounded, but didn't sieze. I wheezed, I ached, but I didn't stop. I made it that entire mile-and-a-half.
At times, G. would put his hand to my back and half-push me along, telling me, "Come on, keep this pace. Don't slow down. Keep it up." I would find a spurt of energy and push it forward for a moment before slowing down again.
I can't tell you how happy I was as we approached the end of our course. I wanted to cry--because I hurt, because I was angry that he made me do it, because I was frustrated at not losing weight this week...but also because I made it.
I. Made. It.
The couple of times he let me lag behind him (this was such a walk in the park for this dude) I delighted in rolling my eyes, or giving him the finger. But I jogged that whole stupid mile-and-a-half, outside, in the cold. My nose ran. My thighs and back started aching. My shins went numb (Hey! No shin splints!).
I thought I might die. For a few minutes, I wanted to. But I didn't die.
"Come on, Megan! How old are you? Twenty-seven?"
*gasp* *choke* "THURRRTEEEEWUUNNNN!!" *wheeze* *whimper*
"You are a young woman, Megan. I can push you to do this because you're not going to have a heart attack."
"IIIIIMIIIIGHT" *gasp* "THROOOOOWWUHHHHP." *whine*
But I didn't throw up. My heart pounded, but didn't sieze. I wheezed, I ached, but I didn't stop. I made it that entire mile-and-a-half.
At times, G. would put his hand to my back and half-push me along, telling me, "Come on, keep this pace. Don't slow down. Keep it up." I would find a spurt of energy and push it forward for a moment before slowing down again.
I can't tell you how happy I was as we approached the end of our course. I wanted to cry--because I hurt, because I was angry that he made me do it, because I was frustrated at not losing weight this week...but also because I made it.
I. Made. It.
Put Yer Name On It
My class just finished, and as my 7th graders were putting their new music folders into neat piles on their tables, one kid (inevitably--there's always that one kid, God help me) said, "Do we put our name on it?" Every once in a while, I can't help myself. "No! Don't put your name on it. I don't want to give you credit for doing your work!" "So...do we put our name on it?" *Sigh* |
Monday Music: Metric
I heard of Metric recently from a guy I was (briefly) dating. I checked them out on YouTube. At first, I wasn't all that impressed by this song, but after a few listens, I liked it. I need to research more about Metric, but for now, this is a good workout song on my iPod.
"Sick Muse"
"Sick Muse"
Sunday, January 10, 2010
Phenomenal Women
I'm thinking about starting a regular feature about various Phenomenal Women, past at present. After spending a lot of time last night scheduling various Monday Music and Sunday Review posts, I came up with the idea and I've been mulling it over.
The obvious start is Maya Angelou--it's been ages since I've read I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings, but it sticks with me to this day. And, of course, her awesome poem, Phenomenal Woman.
Which I may just read before going to bed tonight.
Anyway, what do you think? Any ideas? There are the obvious: Elizabeth I, the suffragettes, Clara Barton, Gloria Steinem, etc. I'll also be using a book I have called America's Women (to be featured soon on Sunday Review!) to get ideas and information. But I love getting ideas from those of you who read my blog, so...gimme some!
The obvious start is Maya Angelou--it's been ages since I've read I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings, but it sticks with me to this day. And, of course, her awesome poem, Phenomenal Woman.
Which I may just read before going to bed tonight.
Anyway, what do you think? Any ideas? There are the obvious: Elizabeth I, the suffragettes, Clara Barton, Gloria Steinem, etc. I'll also be using a book I have called America's Women (to be featured soon on Sunday Review!) to get ideas and information. But I love getting ideas from those of you who read my blog, so...gimme some!
DAMNIT!! AARRGHHH!!!
In a moment of pure idiocy, I just deleted my "Blogs I Read" list. As this is how I keep up with the blogs I read, this is very annoying and means I have to go back and find them all. GAH!!! At least I have blogs I follow within Blogger. That should help.
Sunday Review: The Story of England
I love history, especially that of the United States and England. Having spent a fair amount of time in England, I was curious to know more about its history.
I found The Story of England by Christopher Hibbert. At 189 pages (each containing pictures), it seems too short to cover the history of England going all the way back to the Romans, Celts and Anglo-Saxons. But Hibbert gives it a go, and is impressive in his ability to give a good summation of the known history of my favorite small island.
Most interesting, of course, are the Tudor and early Stuart periods (Henry VIII, Elizabeth I), the Georgian period--in particular, the Regency, when George IV was Prince Regent for his ailing father, George III--and Britain's steadfast iron will in the face of the German Blitz of World War II. Hibbert gives each of these periods their due, connecting each to the next period in history, and helping unfold the story of how Britain became the leading world power before "declining" to what it is today (I put the word declining in quotes because it's not as though England has stopped being some kind of power in entirety).
If you're interested in history, kings and queens, and a marvelous little island north of Europe, by all means, get this book.
I found The Story of England by Christopher Hibbert. At 189 pages (each containing pictures), it seems too short to cover the history of England going all the way back to the Romans, Celts and Anglo-Saxons. But Hibbert gives it a go, and is impressive in his ability to give a good summation of the known history of my favorite small island.
Most interesting, of course, are the Tudor and early Stuart periods (Henry VIII, Elizabeth I), the Georgian period--in particular, the Regency, when George IV was Prince Regent for his ailing father, George III--and Britain's steadfast iron will in the face of the German Blitz of World War II. Hibbert gives each of these periods their due, connecting each to the next period in history, and helping unfold the story of how Britain became the leading world power before "declining" to what it is today (I put the word declining in quotes because it's not as though England has stopped being some kind of power in entirety).
If you're interested in history, kings and queens, and a marvelous little island north of Europe, by all means, get this book.
Saturday, January 09, 2010
Back to Your Regularly Scheduled Posts
It's back!
Okay, folks, December was crazy, and so far, January has been curl-up-under-a-blanket-and-hide-from-the-doldrums. But I finally find myself with some time on my hands to queue a ton of posts, both here and at my other two neglected blogs. I am getting back to Music Monday, Sunday Review, and I want to start a new feature about eating healthy.
Stay tuned!
Okay, folks, December was crazy, and so far, January has been curl-up-under-a-blanket-and-hide-from-the-doldrums. But I finally find myself with some time on my hands to queue a ton of posts, both here and at my other two neglected blogs. I am getting back to Music Monday, Sunday Review, and I want to start a new feature about eating healthy.
Stay tuned!
Thursday, January 07, 2010
Crazy Heart
A few years ago, I commissioned my mom to make me one of her Crazy Quilt Hearts using the school colors of the high school I was then teaching at. She had made me a couple for my apartment (one in multiple colors and one in blues that hangs in my living room), but I thought it would be cute to have a special school spirit heart for my classroom.
When I left that job, I thought about what I should do--it was unlikely that any school I would move on to would have the same color scheme (silver, black and teal), and I thought it might be nice to pass the heart, made with love by Mom, to someone at school.
With Mom's blessing, I settled, sort of last-minute, on giving it to Renee, our student accounts lady. From my first day teaching high school choir, Renee was one of many kind and helpful people at that school. I had several wonderful friends and mentors, but Renee, above all the rest, stood out as the person I should give the heart to. She had battled cancer previously, and yet never let it get her down. She loved her job, she loved the kids she worked for. And they loved her back.
Her office was wallpapered in senior portraits and dance pictures given to her by many, many students over the years. Her zest for life and school spirit was hardly matched by anyone.
On my last day, I walked down to her office and handed her the heart, explaining that it had been made for me with love, and now that I was moving on, I wanted it to have a good home at this school. I told her I'd chosen her because she was so helpful and patient with my incessant student accounts questions, forms that I didn't fill out correctly, and my constant deposits of money from fundraisers and concerts.
I know it meant a lot to Renee--her eyes teared up. She was touched by the gesture, and I felt good that I had given the heart to the right person--the person who would enjoy it's beauty in her office.
Renee's cancer came back. She passed away on New Year's Eve, leaving a husband and three kids who adored her. She also left a very large high school's staff and students bereft. It will take a miracle to find someone to replace her who has not only the expertise to do the job, but the spirit and happy energy that Renee possessed in spades.
Rest in peace, Renee. Thank you for all of your kindness. The world has lost one of its gems, for sure.
When I left that job, I thought about what I should do--it was unlikely that any school I would move on to would have the same color scheme (silver, black and teal), and I thought it might be nice to pass the heart, made with love by Mom, to someone at school.
With Mom's blessing, I settled, sort of last-minute, on giving it to Renee, our student accounts lady. From my first day teaching high school choir, Renee was one of many kind and helpful people at that school. I had several wonderful friends and mentors, but Renee, above all the rest, stood out as the person I should give the heart to. She had battled cancer previously, and yet never let it get her down. She loved her job, she loved the kids she worked for. And they loved her back.
Her office was wallpapered in senior portraits and dance pictures given to her by many, many students over the years. Her zest for life and school spirit was hardly matched by anyone.
On my last day, I walked down to her office and handed her the heart, explaining that it had been made for me with love, and now that I was moving on, I wanted it to have a good home at this school. I told her I'd chosen her because she was so helpful and patient with my incessant student accounts questions, forms that I didn't fill out correctly, and my constant deposits of money from fundraisers and concerts.
I know it meant a lot to Renee--her eyes teared up. She was touched by the gesture, and I felt good that I had given the heart to the right person--the person who would enjoy it's beauty in her office.
Renee's cancer came back. She passed away on New Year's Eve, leaving a husband and three kids who adored her. She also left a very large high school's staff and students bereft. It will take a miracle to find someone to replace her who has not only the expertise to do the job, but the spirit and happy energy that Renee possessed in spades.
Rest in peace, Renee. Thank you for all of your kindness. The world has lost one of its gems, for sure.
Tuesday, January 05, 2010
Random Bits and Pieces
For starters, this is why I never open my door when people knock on it.
Oy. Only my second day back and already I'm exhausted! Well, I started off exhausted--the first week back after a two-week break is always difficult, but especially when the weather is constantly overcast (and no rain to show for it! Damn!).
In some kind of Oh-God-What-Was-I-Thinking?! moment, I've gone and started a unit about painting at one of my schools. Tomorrow I'm actually passing out paint, brushes and little tubs of water. Pray for me.
Thing is, 98% of the kids will just get on with it, following directions and enjoying mushing the primary colors together to make secondary, etc. But that 2%--Oy! I'm going to have to keep on eye on them. And the cleanup will be a nightmare, as I have to get 8 pallettes washed out at the end of each 50-minute class period and ready for the next group.
In Fat Girl news, I'm doing pretty well with the working out and eating well. Tonight for dinner I had Sweet Potato Bisque from Trader Joe's. Yummy! And only 130 calories per serving. I also toasted a whole wheat sandwich thin with peanut butter and honey. I found the peanut butter at Trader Joe's, and it's a low-fat, low sodium, low calorie version. I worried it might also be low-taste, but it's the creamiest, most delicious peanut butter. I added some honey and I almost expired from happiness.
Eating well does not have to be dull!
This week has started off BUSY. Yesterday, after a full day at work, I had an appointment with G. the Trainer, then a regular Chorale rehearsal. Barely any time at home. Today, I had to put in a full workout (G. asked me to do some strength training without him today), then went to PetCo for an appointment at 6:00.
What kind of appointment? You ask.
Well, on Saturday, I signed up to volunteer to help Lodi's Animal Friends Connection. Once a week, I'll go to the Stockton PetCo and clean out the cat cages where 3-4 cats stay for a week or two for exposure to potential adopters. Stockton PetCo is, of course, where I first encountered a wee little orange tabby named Kahn, who purred like a Harley, licked my nose, and had me wrapped around his paw within 10 minutes.
(There he is with his friend, Mr. Nibbles, who was adopted just as I arrived that day. How anyone before me was able to resist all that creamsicle goodness is a mystery to me to this day.)
It didn't take long for Kahn to become a FORMER shelter baby. One year later, he's my darling Harley Dude, and believe it or not, all of the ladies I've talked to at AFC not only remember me, they remember Harley specifically. Tonight, I met with a lady named Diana, who was showing me where everything is kept, what to do, etc. I said, "I am the proud mama of an alumni--his name was Kahn." Her response?
"Little orange guy. I remember him. He was a sweet little guy!"
I asked how they can remember specific cats out of the hundreds that must go through the shelter and foster homes. One lady, on Saturday, said, "Some just stick out." I just laughed and replied, "Well, Harley does have personality."
So I feel really good about the opportunity to volunteer and to give back to the people who helped me find my Doodlebug. And don't worry, I won't be tempted to adopt another--I am firm in my belief that two is the perfect number of felines in this household. They've already taken over; I hardly need to add to their numbers, right? : P
I finally arrived home at 7:30 tonight, in time to make my quick-but-yummy dinner, and now, it's just about time to get to bed. I'll need my energy tomorrow, so I can get through the painting and color-mixing, and then a long cardio workout (I have to do 3.5 miles on the treadmill, as much jogging as I can, at an incline of 3.0). By 4:00, expect me to be showered, in my jammies, sitting on my butt.
And it will only be Wednesday!
Oy. Only my second day back and already I'm exhausted! Well, I started off exhausted--the first week back after a two-week break is always difficult, but especially when the weather is constantly overcast (and no rain to show for it! Damn!).
In some kind of Oh-God-What-Was-I-Thinking?! moment, I've gone and started a unit about painting at one of my schools. Tomorrow I'm actually passing out paint, brushes and little tubs of water. Pray for me.
Thing is, 98% of the kids will just get on with it, following directions and enjoying mushing the primary colors together to make secondary, etc. But that 2%--Oy! I'm going to have to keep on eye on them. And the cleanup will be a nightmare, as I have to get 8 pallettes washed out at the end of each 50-minute class period and ready for the next group.
In Fat Girl news, I'm doing pretty well with the working out and eating well. Tonight for dinner I had Sweet Potato Bisque from Trader Joe's. Yummy! And only 130 calories per serving. I also toasted a whole wheat sandwich thin with peanut butter and honey. I found the peanut butter at Trader Joe's, and it's a low-fat, low sodium, low calorie version. I worried it might also be low-taste, but it's the creamiest, most delicious peanut butter. I added some honey and I almost expired from happiness.
Eating well does not have to be dull!
This week has started off BUSY. Yesterday, after a full day at work, I had an appointment with G. the Trainer, then a regular Chorale rehearsal. Barely any time at home. Today, I had to put in a full workout (G. asked me to do some strength training without him today), then went to PetCo for an appointment at 6:00.
What kind of appointment? You ask.
Well, on Saturday, I signed up to volunteer to help Lodi's Animal Friends Connection. Once a week, I'll go to the Stockton PetCo and clean out the cat cages where 3-4 cats stay for a week or two for exposure to potential adopters. Stockton PetCo is, of course, where I first encountered a wee little orange tabby named Kahn, who purred like a Harley, licked my nose, and had me wrapped around his paw within 10 minutes.
(There he is with his friend, Mr. Nibbles, who was adopted just as I arrived that day. How anyone before me was able to resist all that creamsicle goodness is a mystery to me to this day.)It didn't take long for Kahn to become a FORMER shelter baby. One year later, he's my darling Harley Dude, and believe it or not, all of the ladies I've talked to at AFC not only remember me, they remember Harley specifically. Tonight, I met with a lady named Diana, who was showing me where everything is kept, what to do, etc. I said, "I am the proud mama of an alumni--his name was Kahn." Her response?
"Little orange guy. I remember him. He was a sweet little guy!"
I asked how they can remember specific cats out of the hundreds that must go through the shelter and foster homes. One lady, on Saturday, said, "Some just stick out." I just laughed and replied, "Well, Harley does have personality."
So I feel really good about the opportunity to volunteer and to give back to the people who helped me find my Doodlebug. And don't worry, I won't be tempted to adopt another--I am firm in my belief that two is the perfect number of felines in this household. They've already taken over; I hardly need to add to their numbers, right? : P
I finally arrived home at 7:30 tonight, in time to make my quick-but-yummy dinner, and now, it's just about time to get to bed. I'll need my energy tomorrow, so I can get through the painting and color-mixing, and then a long cardio workout (I have to do 3.5 miles on the treadmill, as much jogging as I can, at an incline of 3.0). By 4:00, expect me to be showered, in my jammies, sitting on my butt.
And it will only be Wednesday!
Monday, January 04, 2010
Heh
Recently, my friend, Britni, suggested that she might soon do a post about how women are treated by documenting any and all instances of un-friendly behavior she notices in one 24-hour period.
I replied that I ought to do the same, but focusing on how overweight women are treated.
For the most part, I'm not treated too horribly. I don't have men falling at my feet declaring their undying love, but most of the time, if I make eye contact, a guy will give it right back, and at least be polite. I have found a smile goes a long way.
Today, however, I had an interesting experience while going to the gym. I walked over from my apartment, and as I approached the main entrance, there were two young men (possibly teenagers, or early 20s at the most) walking in ahead of me. They both turned around and saw me behind them.
I have a habit of checking around me and behind me so that I never slam a door in someone's face. I don't go out of my way to hold it, but if someone's nearby, I'll pause, and 98% of the time, they speed up a little, smile, and say, "Oh, thanks!"
98% of the time at the gym, people do the same for me.
To these young men, however, I was invisible. All 197 pounds of me (weighed in today), not visible to these self-absorbed idiots. I was ready for it, but still a teensy bit shocked when wham! --the second one let the door close in my face. I caught it before it shut entirely, smiled and said, "Oh, thank you!"
He turned around, looking surprised. I smiled veerrrry sweetly and walked right by him, getting to the check-in counter before he could.
Hopefully, he learned his lesson. ; )
I'm still chuckling.
I replied that I ought to do the same, but focusing on how overweight women are treated.
For the most part, I'm not treated too horribly. I don't have men falling at my feet declaring their undying love, but most of the time, if I make eye contact, a guy will give it right back, and at least be polite. I have found a smile goes a long way.
Today, however, I had an interesting experience while going to the gym. I walked over from my apartment, and as I approached the main entrance, there were two young men (possibly teenagers, or early 20s at the most) walking in ahead of me. They both turned around and saw me behind them.
I have a habit of checking around me and behind me so that I never slam a door in someone's face. I don't go out of my way to hold it, but if someone's nearby, I'll pause, and 98% of the time, they speed up a little, smile, and say, "Oh, thanks!"
98% of the time at the gym, people do the same for me.
To these young men, however, I was invisible. All 197 pounds of me (weighed in today), not visible to these self-absorbed idiots. I was ready for it, but still a teensy bit shocked when wham! --the second one let the door close in my face. I caught it before it shut entirely, smiled and said, "Oh, thank you!"
He turned around, looking surprised. I smiled veerrrry sweetly and walked right by him, getting to the check-in counter before he could.
Hopefully, he learned his lesson. ; )
I'm still chuckling.
Friday, January 01, 2010
British Boys, Part 6
Richard Armitage. Oy vey.
I just recently re-watched "North and South," a BBC miniseries based on the book of the same name by Elizabeth Gaskell. The first time I watched it was when I was in England--these days, I own it on DVD.
To prove his awesome sexiness, and how awesome and swoon-worthy this movie is, let me present the last few minutes, courtesy of YouTube.
If that doesn't convince you, let me provide some stills of the guy (one from "North and South," the rest from other places).
I just recently re-watched "North and South," a BBC miniseries based on the book of the same name by Elizabeth Gaskell. The first time I watched it was when I was in England--these days, I own it on DVD.
To prove his awesome sexiness, and how awesome and swoon-worthy this movie is, let me present the last few minutes, courtesy of YouTube.
If that doesn't convince you, let me provide some stills of the guy (one from "North and South," the rest from other places).
The Year To Come
2010 (MMX in Roman Numerals) is here. The United Nations has named it the International Year of Biodiversity.
It is an Olympic year, with the Winter Games being held in Vancouver, Canada.
The Netherlands Antilles will be politically dissolved and formed into five new constitual islands within the Netherlands government. Who knew?
General Motors is scheduled to release the Chevrolet Volt, an electric car. Whether this will help or hurt GM remains to be seen.
NASA will retire the Space Shuttle program and start the Constellation program.
On a more personal note, I will turn 32. One month after my mom turned 32 in 1978, she gave birth to me. As yet, I have no children (of the non-furry variety, anyway). I'm more than okay with this.
What else is in store? Time will tell. With school budget woes and other craziness, I could very well find myself out of a job come June. I'm starting to get a feeling that I will have to move on. Part of me doesn't want to--I'm happy enough in Stockton, love Chorale, and feel I could make a go of settling here--but there is part of me, I admit it, that longs for a new adventure. It all really comes down to seeing what happens in my school district.
I start of 2010 with a very clean apartment, a walk/jog this morning, and a lentil/black-eyed pea dish I'll be making later today.
Happy New Year, friends!
It is an Olympic year, with the Winter Games being held in Vancouver, Canada.
The Netherlands Antilles will be politically dissolved and formed into five new constitual islands within the Netherlands government. Who knew?
General Motors is scheduled to release the Chevrolet Volt, an electric car. Whether this will help or hurt GM remains to be seen.NASA will retire the Space Shuttle program and start the Constellation program.
On a more personal note, I will turn 32. One month after my mom turned 32 in 1978, she gave birth to me. As yet, I have no children (of the non-furry variety, anyway). I'm more than okay with this.
What else is in store? Time will tell. With school budget woes and other craziness, I could very well find myself out of a job come June. I'm starting to get a feeling that I will have to move on. Part of me doesn't want to--I'm happy enough in Stockton, love Chorale, and feel I could make a go of settling here--but there is part of me, I admit it, that longs for a new adventure. It all really comes down to seeing what happens in my school district.
I start of 2010 with a very clean apartment, a walk/jog this morning, and a lentil/black-eyed pea dish I'll be making later today.
Happy New Year, friends!
First Post of 2010
Should auld acquaintance be forgot,
And never brought to mind?
Should auld acquaintance be forgot,
And auld lang syne!
Happy New Year! May 2010 be full of good health and happiness for all. May our economy improve, and teachers keep their jobs. May we have some peace in the world.
I don't know what will happen to me this year, but I do know it will be Wild and Absolutely True, as always. Stay tuned!
And never brought to mind?
Should auld acquaintance be forgot,
And auld lang syne!
Happy New Year! May 2010 be full of good health and happiness for all. May our economy improve, and teachers keep their jobs. May we have some peace in the world.
I don't know what will happen to me this year, but I do know it will be Wild and Absolutely True, as always. Stay tuned!
The Year That Will Be
Welcome, 2011...what do you have in store for me?
It will be fun to see how it rides out. For now, I have some resolutions. All of them are very doable.
1. No more soda.
This shouldn't be too hard. I gave up soda a year ago when I started working with Gershom. I can count on one hand how many times I've had Coke or Dr. Pepper this year, and each time it was unsatisfying. This year, I want that number to be ZERO. No soda--diet or otherwise.
2. No more fast food.
Of course, I have also avoided fast food. But I've slipped a few times and that is coming to an end. It's total crap, anyway. Who wants to put that garbage in their bodies? I'm also going to limit my Subway. I figure if I need a quick meal somewhere, I'll get a protein plate at Starbucks. And tea. Maybe one pastry, if I've been really good.
3. Seventy-five (yes, 75) miles each week.
I set the goal of 75 miles of running and cycling a couple of weeks ago, and I met it and would have left it in my dust if I'd worked out a sixth day (but I had a Chorale gig and instead helped set up with the riser crew). So I know it is perfectly feasible to get at least 75 miles (possibly more like 90-100) in one week, every week. Even if I just have an hour to work out, I can do a couple miles running in under thirty minutes, and I can do, currently, 13-14 miles in 30 minutes on the stationary bike.
4. Twenty pounds.
That's it. It will take longer to lose it, because I'm in better shape than I was a year ago, but I will lose that last twenty pounds and be solidly in a size 6-8.
5. Find a new adventure.
Of course, this means finding a job. I'm thinking I might find myself leaving Stockton this year--I like it here, but a lady's gotta do what she's gotta do. And I'm itching for an adventure. I've started the application process for teaching jobs with the department of defense. We'll see what happens. But I will find a new adventure this year, whether it's staying in Stockton and having some money to travel, or moving somewhere new and exciting.
It will be fun to see how it rides out. For now, I have some resolutions. All of them are very doable.
1. No more soda.
This shouldn't be too hard. I gave up soda a year ago when I started working with Gershom. I can count on one hand how many times I've had Coke or Dr. Pepper this year, and each time it was unsatisfying. This year, I want that number to be ZERO. No soda--diet or otherwise.
2. No more fast food.
Of course, I have also avoided fast food. But I've slipped a few times and that is coming to an end. It's total crap, anyway. Who wants to put that garbage in their bodies? I'm also going to limit my Subway. I figure if I need a quick meal somewhere, I'll get a protein plate at Starbucks. And tea. Maybe one pastry, if I've been really good.
3. Seventy-five (yes, 75) miles each week.
I set the goal of 75 miles of running and cycling a couple of weeks ago, and I met it and would have left it in my dust if I'd worked out a sixth day (but I had a Chorale gig and instead helped set up with the riser crew). So I know it is perfectly feasible to get at least 75 miles (possibly more like 90-100) in one week, every week. Even if I just have an hour to work out, I can do a couple miles running in under thirty minutes, and I can do, currently, 13-14 miles in 30 minutes on the stationary bike.
4. Twenty pounds.
That's it. It will take longer to lose it, because I'm in better shape than I was a year ago, but I will lose that last twenty pounds and be solidly in a size 6-8.
5. Find a new adventure.
Of course, this means finding a job. I'm thinking I might find myself leaving Stockton this year--I like it here, but a lady's gotta do what she's gotta do. And I'm itching for an adventure. I've started the application process for teaching jobs with the department of defense. We'll see what happens. But I will find a new adventure this year, whether it's staying in Stockton and having some money to travel, or moving somewhere new and exciting.
Thursday, December 31, 2009
All I Need Now...
My sweeties! : (
Yesterday, when it came time to leave Mom and Dad's, both Millie and Harley ran under Mom and Dad's bed before I could get them into their carriers. I didn't want to wrestle them out of there with a broomstick, and I figured it might be best if I could do my big Purge and Clean without them around. Harley is still very kittenish, and wants to see what's in every box, etc. I had the front door open a few times while taking stuff out to the garbage, and it was nice to not have to worry about them getting out.
Still, it's so quiet without them. After a whole decade of being a cat mom, I'm just not equipped to live without a furbaby around!
Mom and Dad will bring them down tomorrow or Saturday. I'll once again be warm and toasty in bed (it was cold without them last night!) and my very clean apartment will get that nice coating of cat hair back.
The Great Purge and Clean of 2009 -- DONE
Good grief, I'm exhausted! I'm going to try to make it to midnight, though.
Some statistics from today:
Three 13-gallon garbage bags worth of garbage thrown out, as well as a couple of boxes (one that a new lamp came in) and one old mop.
Two 13-gallon garbage bags, several smaller bags, one pots-and-pans box full of stuff, filling my entire car trunk, of stuff for Goodwill.
Five loads of laundry.
The results:
A cute new set of drawers to keep my dishtowels in ('til now, due to having a total of two drawers in the kitchen, they've been in a cupboard).
A nice new floor lamp to light up my living room. I previously had just the Sweet Spot lamp and a small lamp--not enough! Plus, I broke the "chimney" on the small lamp last night.
My Christmas stuff put away and my London Shrine lovingly restored to its home in the living room.
Two fat new king-sized pillows (bought in a set of two for $19.99!) for my bed, to replace my old ones, which were about a quarter of the thickness of these--and way old, too. Does that bed (all clean linens, including the comforter!) look inviting, or what?
I have a clean, respectable-looking apartment, just in time for the new year.
A couple of extra pics...while I was walking to the laundry room, I noticed the full moon and took my camera out a few minutes later to catch some pictures.
Some statistics from today:
Three 13-gallon garbage bags worth of garbage thrown out, as well as a couple of boxes (one that a new lamp came in) and one old mop.
Two 13-gallon garbage bags, several smaller bags, one pots-and-pans box full of stuff, filling my entire car trunk, of stuff for Goodwill.
Five loads of laundry.
The results:
A cute new set of drawers to keep my dishtowels in ('til now, due to having a total of two drawers in the kitchen, they've been in a cupboard).
A nice new floor lamp to light up my living room. I previously had just the Sweet Spot lamp and a small lamp--not enough! Plus, I broke the "chimney" on the small lamp last night.
My Christmas stuff put away and my London Shrine lovingly restored to its home in the living room.
Two fat new king-sized pillows (bought in a set of two for $19.99!) for my bed, to replace my old ones, which were about a quarter of the thickness of these--and way old, too. Does that bed (all clean linens, including the comforter!) look inviting, or what?
I have a clean, respectable-looking apartment, just in time for the new year.
A couple of extra pics...while I was walking to the laundry room, I noticed the full moon and took my camera out a few minutes later to catch some pictures.
The Great Purge and Clean of 2009, Part 2
OMG!
It has taken about two days of turning my apartment upside down, but the end is in sight. I have purged, scrubbed, hauled, swept, scoured, vacuumed, washed, mopped, organized, and PURGED SOME MORE. This place is looking great.
I'm pooped.
At present, I have three dryer loads over in the laundry room. When those are done, I can finish making my bed--the comforter is still drying, but the sheets are on.
Now all I have to do is put my kitchen rugs back and vacuum the hell out of the living room and hallway. Then I need to jump in the shower for one final round of scrubbing, scouring, and washing. I'm sweaty, and I opted to not wash my hair this morning. I had an hour-long workout with my new trainer. Well, it was our fifth session, so the newness is wearing off. Now we're into "Let's Make A Deal!" territory. I have to lose one pound by Monday or he's going to make me jog for 15 minutes without a break. I can't jog for fifteen straight minutes. I'll die.
Another post is coming later, when I take a few pics of the improvements I've made to my little 750-square foot corner of the world.
But first, the Bissell is waiting. Vroom vroom.
It has taken about two days of turning my apartment upside down, but the end is in sight. I have purged, scrubbed, hauled, swept, scoured, vacuumed, washed, mopped, organized, and PURGED SOME MORE. This place is looking great.
I'm pooped.
At present, I have three dryer loads over in the laundry room. When those are done, I can finish making my bed--the comforter is still drying, but the sheets are on.
Now all I have to do is put my kitchen rugs back and vacuum the hell out of the living room and hallway. Then I need to jump in the shower for one final round of scrubbing, scouring, and washing. I'm sweaty, and I opted to not wash my hair this morning. I had an hour-long workout with my new trainer. Well, it was our fifth session, so the newness is wearing off. Now we're into "Let's Make A Deal!" territory. I have to lose one pound by Monday or he's going to make me jog for 15 minutes without a break. I can't jog for fifteen straight minutes. I'll die.
Another post is coming later, when I take a few pics of the improvements I've made to my little 750-square foot corner of the world.
But first, the Bissell is waiting. Vroom vroom.
Wednesday, December 30, 2009
The Great Purge and Clean of 2009
Let me be frank: December was a shitty month.
Oh, it ended beautifully, with a relaxing Christmas at Mom and Dad's house. Once I arrived back at their place, it was like the stress started melting off of me. All of the crap I dealt with in December (some of which I can't blog about) just took a back burner, and believe me, it was exactly what I needed.
I found myself wallowing in December. There were good things, like a couple of dates with Date Boy (fizzled out--a good thing, really, because we weren't very compatible), and a ton of awesome Chorale concerts. But good things can be overwhelming. Staying up 'til 5:00 in the morning watching movies with a new person, or standing for an hour singing Handel's Messiah is exhausting, even if it's fun.
When I wallow, things go by the wayside. The dust in my apartment is getting nasty. I need to pull furniture away from the walls and vacuum every nook and cranny. The bathroom isn't too horrid but it needs a good scrub-down. I need to wash my bed linens and my chorale dress (fortunately it's machine washable--I just hang it up to dry).
And I need to purge.
Purging is cathartic to me--a hoarder I am not. I've moved enough in my life to know that most things are replaceable or not important enough to bother replacing. I have a few things--my scrapbooks, certain parts of my Snoopy collection, my clarinet--that are very important, but other stuff is, well, just stuff.
So today, I've been going through my apartment doing the Great Purge of 2009. I have boxed up my well-used, beat-up old pots and pans, as Mom and Dad gave me a lovely set of Farberware for Christmas. I culled 2 garbage bags of Fat Girl clothes out of my closet. By the time spring rolls around, those blouses are going to be tents! I got rid of some cheap plastic cups because I now have a grown-up set of glasses. I've gone through my bookcases and pulled out some books I'll never read again to take to the used book store. My Goodwill pile is growing bigger and bigger. Tomorrow I'll load it all in the car and drop it off.
Even better, I've gone through my kitchen and purged the bad foods and a couple bottles of alcohol left over from all the drinking Date Boy seemed to want to do--he left Irish Whisky AND rum here. The rum--gone. The whisky...well, I'll keep it around, just in case. New Trainer has a good rule of thumb--for every serving of alcohol I drink, I must do one extra mile on the treadmill/stairs/elliptical. My drinking will be limited to special occasions, for sure.
Cleaning, organizing and purging make me feel in control. I can't control what happens to my job in 2010. I'm starting to brace myself for the fact that I could find myself moving again--I just don't know yet. I don't really want to, but I'll do what I have to do. I can't control what the outside world throws at me. But I can control my little corner of the planet, and so I'm ending 2009 with a lot of cleaning, purging, loading, hauling, and organizing. I figure it's best to start 2010 on a positive note, and I'll certainly enjoy lounging around on New Year's Day with black-eyed peas in the slow cooker and a good movie in the DVD player.
Oh, it ended beautifully, with a relaxing Christmas at Mom and Dad's house. Once I arrived back at their place, it was like the stress started melting off of me. All of the crap I dealt with in December (some of which I can't blog about) just took a back burner, and believe me, it was exactly what I needed.
I found myself wallowing in December. There were good things, like a couple of dates with Date Boy (fizzled out--a good thing, really, because we weren't very compatible), and a ton of awesome Chorale concerts. But good things can be overwhelming. Staying up 'til 5:00 in the morning watching movies with a new person, or standing for an hour singing Handel's Messiah is exhausting, even if it's fun.
When I wallow, things go by the wayside. The dust in my apartment is getting nasty. I need to pull furniture away from the walls and vacuum every nook and cranny. The bathroom isn't too horrid but it needs a good scrub-down. I need to wash my bed linens and my chorale dress (fortunately it's machine washable--I just hang it up to dry).
And I need to purge.
Purging is cathartic to me--a hoarder I am not. I've moved enough in my life to know that most things are replaceable or not important enough to bother replacing. I have a few things--my scrapbooks, certain parts of my Snoopy collection, my clarinet--that are very important, but other stuff is, well, just stuff.
So today, I've been going through my apartment doing the Great Purge of 2009. I have boxed up my well-used, beat-up old pots and pans, as Mom and Dad gave me a lovely set of Farberware for Christmas. I culled 2 garbage bags of Fat Girl clothes out of my closet. By the time spring rolls around, those blouses are going to be tents! I got rid of some cheap plastic cups because I now have a grown-up set of glasses. I've gone through my bookcases and pulled out some books I'll never read again to take to the used book store. My Goodwill pile is growing bigger and bigger. Tomorrow I'll load it all in the car and drop it off.
Even better, I've gone through my kitchen and purged the bad foods and a couple bottles of alcohol left over from all the drinking Date Boy seemed to want to do--he left Irish Whisky AND rum here. The rum--gone. The whisky...well, I'll keep it around, just in case. New Trainer has a good rule of thumb--for every serving of alcohol I drink, I must do one extra mile on the treadmill/stairs/elliptical. My drinking will be limited to special occasions, for sure.
Cleaning, organizing and purging make me feel in control. I can't control what happens to my job in 2010. I'm starting to brace myself for the fact that I could find myself moving again--I just don't know yet. I don't really want to, but I'll do what I have to do. I can't control what the outside world throws at me. But I can control my little corner of the planet, and so I'm ending 2009 with a lot of cleaning, purging, loading, hauling, and organizing. I figure it's best to start 2010 on a positive note, and I'll certainly enjoy lounging around on New Year's Day with black-eyed peas in the slow cooker and a good movie in the DVD player.
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