Monday, October 13, 2008

Dear Neighbors,

Kindly refrain from illegally parking on the patch of grass right outside my bedroom window. While you're at it, please don't walk out to your car at 1:00 in the morning, thinking it's okay to merrily yap away as loud as you please, and slam the car doors. Did you notice that my window is cracked open? That my lights are off? That it's ONE O'CLOCK IN THE FREAKIN' MORNING and some of us are adults with jobs?

If you can uphold your end, I promise I won't do my best impression of Oscar the Grouch, squinting out the window (hey, it's one in the morning, I'm not thinking about where my glasses are!) and scratching my butt while glaring through the blinds and wishing all kinds of painful injuries on you.

All I'm saying is, a little bit of neighborly consideration goes a long way.


Your neighbor in the downstairs apartment overlooking the parking lot.

P.S. Management gave me a number to time you pull a stunt like that, your car's getting towed. And yes, I'll be standing in my bedroom window, laughing.

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