Wednesday, January 08, 2014

Unfamiliar

I was scrolling through my old profile pictures on Facebook tonight, just for grins, and as I moved down the page, the strangest thing happened to me.

It felt like I was staring at a stranger, this overweight, very blonde woman in back pictures. My face looked so completely different then--rounder, a double chin, framed by blonde layers rather than longer, darker hair.

There was this moment of complete non-recognition. I honestly couldn't believe those pictures were of me. It wasn't a proud feeling, or even a feeling of self-loathing that I was ever in that state. It was, plain and simple, like looking at a stranger and trying to find something in her that you know.

It scared me.

The fact is, that Meg did exist. And she was just as smart and funny and beautiful as the Meg that stares back at me from the mirror today. It feels strange to lose her face from my head, even though I'm glad of the changes I've made in my life. I thought, "If someone who didn't know me then scrolled through these pictures, would they even believe that's me?"




It was. It is.




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