Boxes

In May 2010, I packed up my personal belongings, kept in a Stockton classroom for two years, and loaded them in to Rosie Pro. As I loaded the last box, tears started falling down my cheeks. I am not a person who likes to hold on to anger, and it is very rare for me to loathe a person, but that afternoon, I loathed the woman who had put me in this position. I was so angry that one administrator in all my years of teaching could evaluate me poorly simply because she didn't like me, or something about how I chose to teach. That one woman's meanness could put me out of a job I loved.

I was never ineffective. I was a good teacher. I know that now.

When the last box was packed, I drove away. The boxes took up residence in my closet at home, in the hopes that I'd need them again soon.

They've collected dust for two years.

Since August of last year, they've been piled up in my storage unit. Recently, I went to the storage unit to sort through some of my books. In a box of music books, I found a couple of paper lanterns and a paper dragon that I've had since my very first teaching job--ten years. My Chinese New Year lesson has always been one of my favorites, and when I pulled those well-loved artifacts out of the box, I felt a pang of sadness that they'd been packed away so long, unused, not needed. I wondered if I'd have a chance to use them again.

I hadn't the heart to let go of them.

Then, of course, this last week, I was offered a job, teaching music at a small K-8 private school. On Thursday, I met with the principal to sign the paperwork (there is always endless paperwork when you take on a teaching job) and get a tour of the school (which took all of 10 minutes--it really is a small school!). Before I left, I looked at my new boss--still nervous about her, still wondering if she would be a good admin or a bad one--and mentioned my excitement at retrieving my teaching supplies from my storage. "I love to do a lesson each year for Chinese New Year."

I hoped this would impress her.

Her face lit up. "We have a big Chinese New Year celebration every year! Oh, Mrs. _____ is going to faint when she finds out that you love doing music lessons for it."

All I could do was grin like a fool and say, "I can't wait to talk to her!"

This week, I plan to stop by my storage unit to dig out those dusty boxes, and bring them home to Mom and Dad's house so I can go through them. I will reacquaint myself with my tiny percussion instruments, tune my little autoharp, and dig around to remember what I've got. There may be a happy tear or two as I think about how happy I am for the opportunity that lies ahead of me.

I'm a teacher again. : )