I have so many thoughts today. It's been going on since yesterday and I'm sitting here driving myself crazy, so I thought some random word dumping on the blog might be just what I need.
Scaredy Cat
We had a hell of a storm an hour or two ago. Thunder, lightning, pouring rain. It's like Mother Nature is making up for our bone-dry winter months by giving us a huge show for spring. I don't mind the rain--God knows we need it if we don't want the whole state to go up in flames over the summer--but I draw the line at lightning. I'm really not a fan of storms that involve flashes and crashes. Some people love it, but you can find me huddling under the bed with the cats.
Silly
All those years I've lived on my own in an apartment with one or two cats for company, loving my little space and my privacy and having things just so...then I spend eight months living with Mom and Dad. They leave for a two-week cruise, leaving me excited to have some quiet time at home without the TV being on constantly, or being able to shower with the door open, stuff like that...and I miss them. I found myself wandering aimlessly around the living room a few minutes ago, wanting to sit in the rocking chair and bother Dad while he tries to watch endless episodes of NCIS.
It's not that I want to live with Mom and Dad forever--a lady has to have her independence (and a job first!)--but when I'm in this house, I'm used to the noises and distractions and sharing space with two other people. It's too quiet, too empty, with Mom and Dad away.
So I feel a bit lonely. Because of the above-mentioned storm, I've been staying close to home, only going to the gym and Target this morning. I just don't want to drive in that mess out there...but at the same time I feel kind of stranded here. This, in turn, makes me feel isolated and a teensy bit depressed. Good thing I have an overly-crazy weekend ahead to make me sick of being around people. By Sunday, expect me to be anti-social.
Though I am loving the epic show tune sing-a-thons I've been having in the shower every day.
Little Miss Muff--wha?
I have an interview on Saturday morning, which is, of course, great news. The position is for a summer arts camp for ESL students (students who have limited English) and I'd be teaching music. Of course it's temporary, but it would look great on my resume. (Prayers, good vibes, crossed fingers...whatever your deal is, if I can have 'em, I'd appreciate it.)
Anyway, part of the interview entails teaching a sample lesson to a group of teenagers. I have to present a music lesson teaching them "Little Miss Muffett."
My first thought was rap, but honestly, I sound like a nimrod when I try to rap along with Eminem's "Lose Yourself" in the car. So I turned to the wonderful world of Facebook, populated by friends who are creative and awesome in so many ways. Suggestions included making it into a round, or a call-and-response. Add harmonies. Have the kids act it out. This kick-started my own creative juices and I've come up with some ostinatos to teach the kids about rhythm and get them chanting bits and pieces of the rhyme.
It's a work in progress. I'll fine-tune it tomorrow.
Kicking Ass, Taking Names
The biggest drawback to the stormy weather is obvious--I have to keep my workouts indoors. No running outside. I have a 5K on Sunday so of course, I'm a little worried that being stuck indoors will make me sluggish out there...I truly loathe running on the treadmill.
No worries, though. After yesterday's appointment with M. the Reasonable (I only have a week or two left working with him, which makes me sad!), he suggested I do a back-and-forth between the Stair Master and the treadmill. Ten flights as fast as I can (takes me like 2 minutes) and then walk on the treadmill until my heart rate goes back to normal. Wash, rinse, repeat. It was good cardio for right after a grueling appointment with him (yet more Turkish Get-Ups--they are killer).
Today, I modified this by doing 10 flights fast, 10 flights slow. I did this sequence three times, then hopped on a treadmill to do some running/walking intervals. I pushed my running speed up to 7 miles per hour, which is quite fast for me. On the third running interval, I started feeling queasy, but I made it through to the end and felt really good.
Angst
Part of what really makes this stuck-indoors-watching-the-rain-fall-incessantly thing suck is that once again, my bloody hormones are making me crazy. My mood swings over the last few days have rivaled any two-year-old's. Fortunately, I'm keeping them mostly self-contained.
Though I had an iffy moment this morning when I got an email from Target thanking me for applying, but...
Really? I know I'm kinda overqualified, but come on!!
She's Got It
I heard back from Monday's coffee date and he wants to see me again! We're aiming for Tuesday. I am taking this one day at a time because I've always had this tendency to rush into things, and right now I'm actually interested in more than one person and I don't want to commit to any one dude until I know what I really, truly want. Besides, I have this nagging priority that is constantly on my mind--getting a Jay-Oh-Bee.
But it's lovely to know that I am turning heads. I have a new confidence these days--it's not entirely the weight loss, either. It's a combination of factors. Being in my thirties. Surviving unemployment. Having awesome friends. Anyway, it feels good to get out and date, flirt, turn heads, LIVE.
On my own terms.
And We'll End This Post With The "Woo-Woo"
My friend Lindsay sent me "The Secret" a couple of months ago. I perused it and passed it on to another duck lady. The whole premise of "The Secret" is simple--you can invite positive or negative energy into your life with your thoughts.
I know, it all sounds a bit woo-woo, but bear with me.
I've been working on practicing positive visualization this year, because I think there is some truth to the notion that if you have positive thoughts about things, the universe will return that positive energy in kind. Or maybe it's more of a self-fulfilling prophecy--if you think you can, you will.
Whatever it is, and however crazy you might think I am while you read this, let me share a little story.
Around the time I had the book in my possession, I started daydreaming about what I'd like to have happen this year. Maybe above-mentioned dude will get a bloody clue. Maybe a great music ed job will open for me. As I practiced this positive visualization stuff, I thought of a local school district. This district (for purposes of not jinxing myself, let's call it Happy School District, or HSD), had a music opening in 2008, which I applied and interviewed for. I was called back to teach a sample lesson--one of only three candidates to be honored so.
It goes without saying that I did not get the job--a month later I was hired by Stockton Unified and my life took the crazy and wonderful and maddening path it's taken in those years since. One orange tabby, one hideous principal and 75 pounds of weight loss later, here I am. And in February, I was happily daydreaming that HSD would have a music job open up. How happy I would be to get an interview, and to find out they wanted me to fill the position.
Well, guess what? They opened up a job this week. It's only 40% of full time, but it's still a music ed job, just as I visualized (in this economy, you can visualize full time but still be happy with 40%). I've applied, and included in my cover letter that I was one of their top candidates a few years ago.
Again, crossed fingers, good vibes, prayers wanted and appreciated.
And there you have it. Crazy ramblings from a bored woman with PMS. Cheers!
No comments:
Post a Comment