Meg and the Very Bad, Er, Not So Good, Well, Maybe It Was Okay After All Day

Longest blog post title ever? Maybe...maybe...

So, here's what happened. I woke up this morning, well-rested, I suppose, but there was just something off today. Maybe it's the full moon, or maybe I just flipped over wrong on my bruised ribcage (thanks to yesterday's workout with M. the Reasonable, my ribcage is bruised and battered--he used a roller on it, and, well, ouch). Maybe I didn't put my socks on right. Whatever it was--I still haven't figured it out--I spent most of today feeling so very BLEH.

In all caps.

I went for my run. During my longer-than-usual walking warm-up, I felt almost queasy, as though my breakfast might not stay put. My run was sluggish, slow, and short...and my stomach didn't feel too much better throughout. I plodded home, feeling discouraged, teary, and oh-so-BLEH.

A shower helped a little. My protein shake perked me up a bit. I did some studying for my oh-so-boring insurance exam. I cuddled my cats. And I just could not shake that BLEH-ness.

It came to a head this afternoon, when I was randomly thinking about how well I've been doing in my fitness and weight loss (a happy thought, indeed!) and I suddenly burst into tears--those loud, drippy-nosed tears that come out of nowhere, have no discernible reason, and leave one feeling drained and grumpy and morose. Mom and Dad were out, so I had time to calm down before they came back home...a good thing, because I know they worry about me.

Finally, at 6:00 or so, I could take it no more. After Mom's query of, "Why so gloomy?" was met with a half-hearted, "I really don't know..." I knew I needed to take some kind of action.

So off I zoomed in Rosie Pro to Barnes and Noble...figuring some time in a public place, surrounded by the smell of books, might cheer me up. I parked in front of the store, and glanced over at the nearby Old Navy. A thought entered my head: "I wonder," it mused. "I wonder just how close those size 6 jeans are..." I decided to dart over to Old Navy to find out.

Since I started my odyssey, I've been buying the same pair of jeans, in decreasing sizes. The size 18s I now marvel at are a pair of light blue Sweetheart jeans by Old Navy. I've worn the Sweetheart in the same color in 16, 14, 12, 10, and now 8. Tonight, I grabbed a pair of size 6 Sweethearts off the shelf and strolled over to the fitting room, thinking, "Well, I doubt they'll fit just yet, but it's good to see how close or how far I am, how much work I have to do..." My 8s are a wee bit loose in the waist and I figured it couldn't hurt to try the 6s on...just to see.

They fit.

They fit.

Yes...they fit.

Sure, they're a teensy bit snug in the thighs and I'll probably wear the 8s for another 5 pounds or so just to be comfortable and flattering...but those size 6 jeans slipped over my body, buttoned, and zipped...without any sucking in or uncomfortable maneuvering. They simply worked.

For the third time today, tears came to my eyes...but this time, they were happy tears. I wanted to laugh out loud in delight. Instead, I covered my mouth with both hands and felt tears prickle my eyes...and I stared in awe at my reflection in the fitting room mirror.

Spirits buoyed considerably, I danced over to Barnes and Noble to immerse myself in books and joy. A text came through from M. the Reasonable while I was flipping through a book--responding to an earlier inquiry I'd sent him about a chicken recipe he'd told me about yesterday. Of course, I had to share my news. And of course, he is delighted for me, and "impressed."

I still have work to do. My body doesn't want to be 150 pounds at 5'2". There's weight yet to lose, and some fat around my middle and my upper arms. It's a process, and celebrating the steps along the way is a big part of helping me to keep going.

I had rather imagined getting to a size 6 at my lowest weight, but it looks now like a 4 isn't out of the question in another month or so. Maybe, eventually, a size 2. Boggling.

In the end, today wasn't so bad. Even better...tomorrow is a clean slate.