A few days ago on Jezebel, a blurb was posted about a new diet pill in England that flew off the shelves and is now no longer available until more is produced. Somewhat quickly and without thinking, I posted a comment stating that I wonder what ever happened to losing weight the "hard" way, with a healthy diet and plenty of exercise, as I have done.
I immediately received a reply from a woman who said, "Bully for you..." and went on to tell me that she exercises regularly, eats a healthy diet, and still doesn't lose weight--because of a thyroid issue.
In reply, I apologized for speaking so quickly and let her know that of course there are exceptions to every rule, etc., but I still believe that the healthiest way to lose weight for 90% of the population is eating healthy foods and exercising. A pill is never going to make up for that.
I continued to receive replies accusing me of fat-shaming the whole wide world--I never said that everyone should take on the lifestyle I've adopted in the last year-and-a-half, only that if someone wants to lose weight, this is the healthiest way to do it. I also never said that everyone needs to lose weight. If you are on the heavy side, but feel healthy and happy in your body, that is great. But when I was fat, I was not healthy, and I was not happy in my body. I have found that my new lifestyle works for me because it promotes overall wellness, rather than just weight loss. The weight loss and buying smaller clothes is awesome--I won't lie. My goal, of course, has always been to lose body mass, first and foremost.
But is this fat-shaming? Does my desire to be Not Fat automatically make me a fat-shamer? Does the fact that I hated my body when it was fat make me a fat-shamer? Does wanting a smaller, tighter, more muscular body make me despise anyone who is fat?
Let's see: No, no, no and hell no.
I've been trying to find the words to articulate this. Maybe in this post, I have, but I am writing this because Shameless Britni sent me the link to this awesome blog post about size-positivity vs. weight loss. The author puts into words what I've been struggling to say for days now.
The further I get in my weight-loss adventure, the more I find out about myself, and the more I see that yes, some of my reasons for doing this are vain and based on what society thinks I should be. Sometimes I wonder if this means I need to turn in my membership card to the feminist movement...but obviously, it's more complicated than that.
6 comments:
Yeah, I think that concern for health and fat shaming are too often conflated. Just because you promote a healthy lifestyle it does not mean that you despise people who dont' follow that lifestyle or dehumanize fat people. I think part of the problem is that a lot of people use a faux concern for health as a thin veneer for fat shaming so it can be kind of knee-jerk to have the reaction some people had to your comment. And who are these people kidding? A good portion of the people taking these pills do not have thyroid problems. Let's not fool ourselves into even thinking that's the case.
In a world full of people who are unhappy with the way they are, all I can say is that anyone who finds a way to love their body is lucky. You love your body more for working out? Great. I love my body just the way it is. One love doesn't invalidate the other and people need to just calm down.
And this is awesome for both of us! I'm actually 80% happy with my body as it is right now. I feel really, really good, but I want a little bit more weight loss and muscle definition. But overall, I've been dressing better because I have the confidence to do so finally. I used to hide in my clothes.
I love your style, by the way, Alana. You wear some awesome outfits (but then, you have a very artistic eye).
Aww thanks! I've thought about posting more outfit posts (though I'll probably keep them on my other blog) but I feel kind of vain doing so haha.
This might sound strange, but gaining weight actually helped me learn to love my body. Before I got pregnant I used to be dreadfully insecure (of course I never let it on), but once I gained 60 pounds I realized that beauty is much more complicated them a pant size. It's like, the further I got from the "ideal" body type (tall, thin, tan, blonde, etc) the more freedom I felt to just be happy with who I am. I'm not gonna lie though, I would be really upset if I gained weight (though I don't use a scale so really as long as my clothes fit I'm happy). How that is any different from your attitude I don't know. Glad to hear you feel good too (though it is obvious from your blog posts). Everyone deserves that.
What means more to me than feeling "thin" is feeling strong. Every time I do a difficult exercise and it's easier than the last time, I feel really good. I was doing seated rows the other day and admiring my biceps as they moved. LOL Vain, perhaps, but I was really enjoying seeing the muscles I've built at work. I still self-critique a lot, but I also remind myself that those legs that I think are "too stocky" are seen by my trainer as "strong." He once actually looked at my legs and said, "Your legs have gotten so strong--you got through that workout with NO problems at all." It's not about how I look to him, it's about performance. That's empowering.
Post more outfits! I love Britni's Wardrobe Malfunction posts. We all have different styles, so it's fun to see how we express who we are through dress.
I have never been much of a runner, but I know that I felt my best during high school when I was going to track practice every day. Right now, I'm trying to lose weight. Maybe a little vanity in that, but I also know that until recently I was NOT living a healthy lifestyle. I just have a higher metabolism than others. Eating healthier and exercising helps you feel better and helps you live a longer and healthier life. I think everyone should try to do that (including me!).
One thing that has hit me recently: my grandma had diabetes, my grandpa had diabetes and then pancreatic cancer, my dad has diabetes, and I had a little bit of trouble with blood sugar while pregnant. I don't want diabetes, and that means doing something about that now.
I can understand that. Every time I do something that I would have asked Ryan to do, like put together a desk or put up a shelf, I feel better for having done it by myself. Working out has the same sense of accomplishment.
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