Scarfapallooza

Post edited to highlight the funniest typo I've ever made. I put it in bold font down a ways. Caught the error in a quick read after posting it, and I just can't change it. It's too funny.

I wore the damned scarf.

When I got to the concert call time tongiht, I saw a lot of ladies wearing them in their own style, so I rolled it up and tied it around my neck, letting all the extra scarf (and believe me, there was a lot of scarf) trail behind me. Not so bad!

Then I got told.

A lady I'll call Diva told me that we all have to wear it draped. I grumbled a little.

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing. I just think it's ugly. And uncomfortable. And I wish that everyone had a vote in what we wear, because I don't think many people like this thing."

I was told I'm childish (maybe I am, as I was the only person to speak up to the people who chose this embarassing piece of crap) and asked why I was being "hateful."

"I'm not. I simply don't like the scarf."

"Well, Costume Lady used to own a clothing store, and I am a fashion designer, so we know what we are doing."

Uh-huh.

Turns out, many women I spoke to tonight felt this scarf was both ugly and unnecessary. I have never been embarassed to stand on a stage with Chorale (even with our terrible dresses), but that scarf was pretty damned embarassing.

Think I'm overreacting?

Pardon the pajamas. My friend Miz Minka got some good shots of me after the concert (so yay! You get to see the polyester body bag, too!) Minka thought the scarves looked terrible from the audience. My colleague, whose wife is a fellow soprano, thought the scarves were ridiculous...and yes, so did his wife.

On the one hand, I had my mom's voice in my head tonight, saying, "This is so not worth making a fuss over." On the other, everyone else just went along with the dominant personalities--and if you keep doing just that, nothing ever changes, and you find yourself wearing the world's ugliest choir dress year after year, and then having the most embarassing scarf ever foisted on you. I'm so tired of everyone telling me that my opinion (about my teaching, about whether or not I should run today, about how I should spend my money, or yes, this stupid scrap of faux-silk) is somehow irrelevent. Just so tired. So yeah, I was a little bit bratty tonight.

The night wasn't all drama, however. I thought that musically, we did a great job, and I pulled off my solo. It didn't sound quite as good as it does in the shower, but I don't usually have huge, fluttery butterflies in my stomach in the shower. I received a lot of compliments afterwards, and that felt good. As I've mentioned before, it's a loud-and-proud, belt-your-heart-out solo, and I gave it every ounce of energy I had left after the last couple of days.

The Youth Chorale sang two parts of the Gospel Mass with us, and they were darling. I was near tears trying not to laugh as they "quietly" stepped on the stage. They sounded like a herd of elephants! Some of the little girls are wearing fancy shoes, and they don't quite know how to walk in them. So we got CLOMP CLOMP CLOMP as they came on.

After their first time singing, our fearless leader, Curtis, was directing them to leave the stage, and the kid who was supposed to exit stage right first was completely failing to pay attention. He was right in front of me, so I finally whispered, "GO!!" in his ear as the little girl next to him gave him a sharp elbow to his ribs. I'm still laughing.

We were well-received by the audience, and I, at least, had a lot of fun singing and swaying. After all the gorgeous but somewhat staid classical music we've done these last two years, it's fun to do something that you can move to. I could barely stand still up there. When we weren't stepping and clapping, I was tapping my feet, swaying, and generally having fun. That's what gospel music is about, right?

Now I'm home, and I've just finished a much-deserved glass of whine and a bit of dark chocolate. My bed is calling to me. I'm going to run tomorrow morning (maybe five miles, maybe not, and G. the Meanie can just deal with it either way) and then come home and sit by the pool for a bit. Next concert is Sunday, and this one will be especially nerve-wracking because Mom and Dad will be there.

I know, I know. It's Mom and Dad! Why should I be nervous about singing in front of them? They're going to think I'm marvelous no matter what--but I guess I just want to show them that all the support, all the money they put into my music education (piano lessons, clarinet lessons, bass lessons, voice lessons, instruments, college expenses, choir trips, band trips, costumes, uniforms, the list goes on and on...) was worth it. I know they believe that every penny was well-spent...and they'll always be my biggest fans. I guess I just want to give them the very best performance I can.

Okay, enough whining and rambling. Good night.