Sunday, December 13, 2009

Christmas Cheer Jeer

In a fabulously flawed bit of reasoning today, I thought it would be a good idea to kill two hours before the call time of a Chorale concert at the mall.

It's Sunday.

It's raining.

Christmas is in twelve days.

Just why I thought this was a good idea is anyone's guess. I'm a fairly smart lady, but I do have my dumb moments, I suppose.

I managed to find a decent parking spot and to get into Barnes and Noble without any major mishaps. I decided to save that wonderful store for last, setting out into the mall amid screaming children, canned Christmas tunes and the sloooowwwwweessssst people to ever walk in a mall. I was very close to spending some money in Old Navy when I noticed the insane line. Heh. I don't need a new cardie that badly.

I went to Hallmark and physically restrained myself from buying every Snoopy ornament in stock (I promised Mom that I'd leave something for her to buy me this year). Then I set back out towards Barnes and Noble, thinking a Frappuccino and a good book was just the right way to kill some time before heading across the street to Delta College for the Holiday Pops concert.

As I dashed through the mall, I walked past a kiosk where two guys were trying to sell some stupid toy. You throw it and it hovers like a little UFO or something. I wasn't paying much attention, until the moron trying to sell this useless bit of shit threw the damned thing in my face.

All I know is that one second I was walking along, in relative peace, and the next, an incoming toy was coming into my peripheral vision, dangerously close to my face.

I didn't think, I reacted. I batted that thing out of my face--I hope I broke it. The guy tried to apologize to me. I kept walking, throwing over my shoulder an extremely grumpy, "You scared the SHIT out of me."

I didn't care how many children heard. I was that pissed off that this dude threw a toy so close to my head. I have half a mind to go back and talk to his supervisor if I can, letting them know that not everyone likes being assaulted by kiosk attendants in the mall.

I'm also looking at you, Make-Up Lady!

This is why I never make eye contact with people in public.


Miz Minka said...

This kind of crap is exactly why I haven't set foot in a mall in...oh...five years or so? Unfortunately we have to go refrigerator shopping in the next couple of weeks, and Sears (in one of those malls) tends to have good prices...but you betcha we're only going to Sears and not beyond into the halls of shopping hell. :)

Meg said...

At least you can get in and out of Sears from the outside, without hitting the mall!

I don't know what I was thinking. LOL