For starters, I did about 35 minutes on the stair climber, reading Glamour and listening to Keane on my iPod. After sweating it up in the main gym area, I wanted to have some time in the pool. I'm finding that I love swimming as a workout--I love how weightless I feel in the water, and how, even though I'm really working my muscles, it doesn't feel like huge effort.
So I donned my too-large swimsuit (yay me!) and stepped into the pool area. The pool at my gym has three lanes. Two people can easily share one lane, leaving room for six people to comfortably use the pool at one time.
When I stepped out of the locker room, there were five people in the pool. Perfect!
Except for Shamu. See, the title of this post is not a disparaging reference to my own body (I'm under 200 pounds now, people, I'm awesome, not a whale). It's about the relatively fit but AWFUL swimmer who was hogging the whole middle lane.
I am not a strong swimmer. I do a decent frog-kick and I can move my arms in such a way that keeps my head above the water. I have just enough swimming skills to keep myself from drowning in a pool, but I don't trust myself in rivers, lakes, oceans, etc.
That said, I know just enough about swimming to know that it's not supposed to be so MESSY! And Shamu was messy. When I finally found a free spot to do my laps, I found myself right next to the two lanes he was (still) hogging. Every time he passed me, I would end up with water in my eyes and ears. I've shared a lane with freestyle swimmers before and not had this problem. Dude was churning the waters to storm-like intensity. I was starting to get seasick.
I also know enough about swimming to know that your hands are supposed to SLICE the water, not SLAP it. This guy's hands have got to be hurting tonight.
But the real kicker (pardon the pun) was his turning. Michael Phelps he is not. A thorough Google Image search yielded this:
You can see that as the swimmer somersaults into a turn, the legs tuck up and slide into the water. Then the feet are planted against the wall for a good shove.
Shamu was not getting this. His legs were SLAPPING the water with comical force, sending huge waves of pool water onto the floor. It was hazardous standing anywhere near the explosion.
Anyway, I started to get tired of battling the waves and getting water smacked into my face every time he passed me, so I got out after only 8 laps and retreated to the sauna.
Better luck next time, eh?
1 comment:
I giggled when you mentioned getting sea sick. My grandmother gets sea sick doing water aerobics. No lie.
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