Approaching a single woman near her car in a parking lot at night is usually considered somewhat threatening. To then open a conversation with, "Excuse me, miss, I just got out of jail..." is another strike. Expecting the afore-mentioned woman (*ahem* ME) to have ANY INTEREST whatsoever in talking to you, even BEFORE that conversational gem, is beyond stupid and into "Commit This Man" territory.
Whatever you've been smoking, well, take it somewhere else.
You scared the shit out of me. You do NOT have the right to roll your eyes when I jump into my car and lock the doors. You do NOT have the right to be put out that I got nervous being approached by a strange man in a parking lot--a man who then told me he's recently been in JAIL! I don't care if you were in jail for not paying your taxes or stealing a car or WHATEVER. I. Do. Not. Care.
The bottom line is, you scared me. Thank God the parking lot was busy, and that people were still pouring in and out of Barnes and Noble. Thank God I'm savvy enough to keep my eyes open while approaching my car. Thank God you didn't have a weapon, though if you did, we were surrounded by witnesses.
You know what I did, asshole? I drove straight home. I was on Pacific Avenue for a whole two or three minutes before I realized I didn't have my damn headlights on. When I got home, I did not pass go, did not go to the bathroom, but grabbed my phone and the Stockton phone book to call the police. The nice lady in dispatch seemed very interested in my complaint--she asked what you were wearing, what you looked like, and exactly where you approached me. She didn't say it, but I think she agreed with me that you have NO BUSINESS doing what you're doing. She told me she'd get an officer out there to check things out.
I am not in a position to be polite--I am a woman who is taking care of herself and who felt every inch of her vulnerabilities exposed tonight. But I am not going to cower in a corner and sleep with the lights on. Beyond scaring me, you PISSED ME OFF, jerk. How dare you?
Signed,
Meg of the LPB
To my friends and family--I'm fine. Writing this actually helped me to stop shaking. Sorry for the bad language.
5 comments:
The bad language is totally understandable. What an asshat. I hate panhandling. Watch out on Monday nights after Chorale too, there's a frequent flyer who gets real whiny but changes his sob story every time. Always overly polite, but pushy nevertheless. :( We used to have a cop that sang with the Chorale, and when she told the singers NOT to give this guy money because she KNOWS him, had repeatedly arrested him, and knows that he's a drug addict, you should have heard people go off on her, yelling at her, calling her hard-hearted, etc. Hello?! Are you people listening? He's a drug addict!? And a convict!? And you think we should give him money??? I don't think so.
Glad you were OK and got outta there as fast as you did! At least he only rolled his eyes and didn't get upset at you and slap the window or anything. One of the reasons I prefer living where I do, and not in your new hometown... We have a lot less of those kinds of incidents here. :(
I don't give to panhandlers. Half the time, they will use the money to buy drugs or alcohol, and I am not going to help them support their habits. I also regularly support various charities, and live on a teacher's salary. I can't save the whole world all by myself, so I decided years ago that I don't give money to panhandlers or those people outside of grocery stores (I also don't sign their petitions), unless I'm buying Girl Scout cookies.
But some random guy approaching me in the parking lot makes me nervous--even if he HADN'T told me about being just out of jail!
Have you thought about taking a self-defense class? Those skills could one day come in handy, and in the meantime you feel a lot less vulnerable to these people. I'll bet your local police department or women's shelter will be able to tell you where to find free or low-cost classes. I can say for sure that I feel a lot safer since taking mine. Something about knowing you know how to rip off someone's ear (if you had to) that makes you a lot more confident in this kind of situation.
Heather's right! I think I'd like to take a self-defense class too. I have to walk to my car in the dark several times a week (work-related or on campus), and that always makes me nervous. We could take the class together! What do you think?
You know, I had mine in college. The school offered them as part of student services. Your school PD - if you have one - is another place to start. The classes are kinda self-perpetuating too. Perps don't tend to attack confident people (the last thing they want is a fight), and you get confidence from knowing how to defend yourself, which means you have less need for the skills. Nifty, eh? You gals should sign up for Defense Against the Dark Arts!
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