Oh, Poo

I have not broken my resolution! I haven't, I haven't! I did intend to update the LPB more often, and...I will. Just not in January, apparently. : P

There have been a few "Oh, Poo!" moments this week, most of them bordering on the hysterically funny rather than being stressful. Sound intriguing? You have no idea. Let's get started, shall we?

The Horoscope

For a while now--a few years, actually--I've been having my horoscope emailed to me from MSN. It's free, and it's "personalized" (they put "Megan" in there once or twice so it sounds like some astrologist looked up my birthdate and time and wrote a personalized horoscope). I don't take a lot of stock in it--how many times has it told me I'm going to find glorious romance only to find myself instead being verbally abused by my students or some such thing?

But it is fun to read each morning, and every once in a while I get some opportunity for introspection from it. Or a good laugh.

Wednesday wasn't a bad day at work by any means, but I did find myself a teensy bit annoyed and irritated by my kids. I just wasn't in the mood for the silliness, and after school, I had a large group of kids in my room hanging out. Normally I don't mind this at all but I had massive amounts of stuff to get done and just wanted five minutes of peace and quiet. I announced to the room as a whole, "'Kay, guys, I have to go next door to help with Talent Show auditions--I have to kick you all out!" I said it at high enough volume to be heard, and with a smile. I was roundly ignored.

Hey, you're no one until you've been ignored by a teenager, but Wednesday was not the day for this.

"HELLO!! I HAVE TO LEAVE!! LET'S GO!!!!!"

They got the message this time and eeeevvvverrrr-so-slowly sauntered out of the room, continuing their conversations and flirting.

As I said, most of the time this wouldn't bother me, but I was feeling mildly irritated to begin with.

Thursday morning I woke up, and as usual, checked my email while eating breakfast and waiting for my hair to dry. My horoscope was there, as usual, so I opened it up. Here's what I found:

Stress, nerve strain, and overwork could have you feeling a bit under the weather today, Megan. You might decide to run away somewhere - and this just might be what you need right now.

Sounds nice, I thought to myself. Except that it's more of a pain in the butt to call in sick than it is to just go in and deal with them. I read on.

If you can't, try to concentrate on solitary activities, as being with others might not be a good idea right now. Your patience could well be rather thin. In the evening: Get out and enjoy yourself. You need it!

My first reaction was to start preparing sub plans for the day and to stay hidden in my apartment until Friday. Then I started to laugh. I nearly fell off my chair laughing. In the three-plus years I've been having my horoscope emailed to me, it has never been this accurate.

As it turns out, my day went well enough. The kids were goosey and a little bit annoying, but nothing I can't handle. I did go out in the evening, to a gathering of teachers at a local restaurant. I told my horoscope story to everyone and the whole table agreed it was a classic story.

Oh, Poo...

So yesterday at lunch, the two drama teachers, the band teacher and I were sitting there chatting in that way that four performing arts teachers will--dramatic, lots of hand gestures and ever-increasing volume. Then one of the drama teachers, T, mentions finding poo (he used a different term for "poo" but this blog is PG). The other drama teacher, P, and L, the band teacher, started to laugh. I wasn't in on the joke. T looks at me and says, "I haven't told you this one?!?"

"Nope...do share."

"I was going through the prop room a few days ago and I found [poo] in a corner."

I think I gasped with horror, then said, "Human?!?"

"Yes. Human."

"Oh my God!!"

"And the worst part is that whoever did it used an old costume to wipe."

By this time my jaw is hanging open and I'm making half-choking, half-laughing sounds (I have an annoying tendency to laugh at inappropriate times--not a good quality for a teacher).

P, who is also new to the school this year, turns to me with a sly smile and very, very dryly wisecracks, "Makes our problems here seem more manageable, doesn't it?"

I couldn't contain it. I was laughing so hard I had tears. It was a good few minutes before I could take another bite of my sandwich, for fear of choking.

I may have students questioning my credentials and ability to teach, but I'm 98% sure that none of them would dream of dropping trou in my classroom and leaving a little poo behind.

Other Ramblings

This afternoon I have an appointment at a local spa for the Pamper Me package. It includes a hot-stone facial, a pedicure, and a full-body massage. I've been wanting to do something like this for a while now, and I'm finally getting to it. After that I'm going to dinner with some colleagues and then I will come home and prepare to enjoy a lazy Sunday.

Finals are this week, and I can hardly believe that I'm almost halfway through my first year at this job. Good grief.

Other than that, and a rather hilarious week, things are going pretty well. I'm fortunate to have a sense of humor...however sophomoric it is at times. : )

Cheers,

Meg