What Makes Me Stronger

I went out for my run this morning, determined to push out two-and-a-half miles after several days of time off (had a cold) and yesterday's short easy one-miler. I set off at a good pace, knowing that such a fast start might come back and bite me in the behind later in the run, but also feeling really good as I powered along at about a 9:30 pace.

As I neared the first mile, the route started a slight uphill--nothing incredibly taxing, but certainly not flat or slightly downhill as the first part of my route is. Just a few months ago, that tiny uphill always slowed me down, but today, I simply powered through it, keeping my breathing steady and enjoying the feeling of my legs powering me forward.

It's not a huge deal, but it's one more sign that I'm getting stronger.

I forged on, feeling good, running a nice pace (for me). I slowed a bit towards the halfway point, but picked it up again on a slight downhill approaching mile two.

At mile two, I turn a corner and start the last half mile--and this is always, always where I falter, if I'm going to falter. Some days, when I'm running an easy pace, I just cruise through it, but when I'm pushing myself, this last half mile is always an exercise in mind over matter.

My side started to cramp a little and I began the process of saying, out loud, to myself, "Come on. Come on. You can do it. Don't stop" in intermittent bursts. I don't particularly care if anyone hears me, but there wasn't anyone around. I thought about how, if I were running with anyone else, they might ask me, "Do you want to stop?" My answer would be, "Yeah, I want to stop. But I can't stop."

And I didn't. I slowed a little, and I wasn't feeling particularly merry about that stitch in my side, but I kept running, kept breathing. As I neared the end of that brutal half mile, I pulled my iPod out of the little pouch I keep it in and glanced down at the stopwatch. Realizing I was about to annihilate my previous best time, I was even more determined to keep going to the very end.

Actually, I sped up.

That last tenth was proof that all of these months of running and training have made me stronger, and more of a fighter than ever. Not only do I refuse to quit, I speed up to beat that best time. The previous best was 26:52. Today, I brought it home in 25:59.

Compared to three years ago, I'd say I'm doing very well.