Ninety Minutes

In less than ninety minutes, Troy Davis is scheduled to die.

He has declined to request a special last meal. He wishes, instead, to be with his loved ones and supporters.

So now we just sit here and wait. Some people are at vigils. My vigil is here at home, broadcast across the world via Twitter, Facebook and this blog. I'm expecting a call from Lindsay in a bit, when she is finished working, and we can lean on each other as the time draws nearer.

I can't believe he's going to die.

I am a hopeful, optimistic kind of person. I have a realistic streak, too, but mostly I just try to hope for the best in situations. It baffles me--honestly baffles me--that the Georgia Board of Paroles and Pardons didn't grant clemency. Reports are surfacing that it was a 3-2 vote to deny clemency. I don't know.

Troy's legal team is trying everything, but as the clock ticks closer to 7:00 (EDT), there is less and less hope. The waiting is excruciating. I can't even begin to know how his family feels.

I understand that there are people out there who believe that Troy Davis' death means justice, and closure for the family of Mark MacPhail. I have serious doubts that any of the MacPhail family will ever find closure, so long as they continue to let hate live and grow in their hearts. Their loss--of a heroic son, husband, father--is not going to be lessened by the death of another man. Especially as there is so much doubt that the man who is to die tonight even pulled the trigger.

At this point, I'm just rambling. Days and days of writing letters and emails, contacting everyone I can think of, is taking an emotional toll. And yet I feel like a jerk even complaining, when I think about the grief of the people closest to this case.

To my friends I have fought this battle with--Lindsay, Sarah, Maayan, Amanda, Newt, the Keane crew, and Richard, the most inspiring drummer ever--it's been my pleasure to stand alongside you, trying to be heard. I'm only sorry our voices fell on deaf ears. After tonight, we'll regroup and continue to work towards the total end of the death penalty in the United States. But tonight, we grieve.