I have a subscription to Glamour magazine. I've always found it to be the best of the fashion magazines. It's by no means perfect, but at least they try to include some real-looking women, stories about women who are truly making a difference, and practical, real advice about things women are concerned about--health, wellness, finances, careers. It's mixed in with the crazy fashions, fun hair and make up ideas, and occasional celebrity news. I save them for the Stair Master--even though Gershom has yelled at me about reading while working out, I get super-bored up there and need something frivolous to read (and to hide the timer).
I particularly love the "Hey, It's Ok" feature each month, but this month in the December issue, it's full of FAIL. All-caps FAIL.
Instead of "Hey, It's Ok..." they did a feature called "10 Silver Linings of Life's Lowest Moments." I'll just list them and then add my commentary.
1. Your bag was stolen, giving you the best excuse ever to buy a new, even nicer bag. Joke's on you, robber man!
No, no, the joke would be on me if my bag was stolen...and along with it, my car key, my house key, my mailbox key, my wallet (bank card, driver's license, credit card,) cell phone, iPod...Going out to buy a new purse would not cheer me up--I'd be terrified that before I could get to the bank and USAA to stop all cards, my identity would be stolen. Or that some major creep might be waiting for me in my apartment when I get home.
The only silver lining I can think of when someone's bag gets stolen is, "Well, thank God they didn't hurt YOU."
Also? Implying that for all women, a new handbag will make it all better just perpetuates the myth that women are all cookie cutters who fit into a pretty, feminine mold. Aren't we sweet?
2. After three weeks on crutches, your triceps will be ripped.
I don't have a problem with this one.
3. Two days of stomach flu = Hey! take those jeans out of the giveaway bag...They fit again!
This one really got me feeling pissy on the Stair Master. We live in a society that values weight loss so much that getting the stomach flu is a cause to celebrate because woohoo!! Weight loss at any cost!
Yes, yes, I'm a big ole advocate for being fierce at the gym. But come on, Glamour, why are you promoting this idea? How many young women out there voluntarily throw up to gain/maintain that "ideal" body that fits into the jeans? Why are we perpetuating the celebration of such an unhealthy mindset?
Now that I think about it, this is worth writing in to Glamour.
4. An outdoor wedding in the rain makes for very cinematic pictures.
Again, no problem here.
5. Maybe the firemen will be hot. (Accompanied by a cartoon picture of a woman applying lipstick, clutching her wide-eyed cat, while smoke billows around them.)
Maybe I'm just feeling stabby after the "Throwing up is fun!" and "Hey, new handbag!!" of the other "silver linings," but this one made me kind of pissy, too. Not outraged, but come on, if my apartment caught fire, and God forbid, because this is one of my biggest, worst fears, I would grab my cats, my purse, and get the hell out of there pronto. I don't care what I look like, as long as I look, you know, alive. With two living cats.
6. Well, at least you know the air bags work.
Again, this is me being sensitive and stabby. I've been in enough car accidents with deployed airbags (two) to know that it's 1) not at all pleasant and 2) the smell of the powder they use in air bags is quite unpleasant and 3) not a whole hell of a lot is scarier to me (even my apartment catching on fire) than colliding with another car on the road. I still get shaky remembering the accidents I've been involved with, and thank my lucky stars all the time they were minor.
7. If someone steals your identity, that means they have to take on your credit card debt, right? Right?
This one just gives of the impression that women are clueless when it comes to things like credit card debt and identity theft. The first thing I would think if someone stole my identity would not be, "Oh, ha ha! They have to take on my credit card debt!" (which is very small, thankyouverymuch), but rather, "Oh, SHIT. This is going to be a nightmare." Because from everything I've read about identity theft, it's a hassle for years after. Let's not trivialize it with a cutesy joke.
8. Now they can see that, besides being brilliant and beautiful, at heart you're just a regular person with a temper.
No, in the real world, having a temper tantrum in public actually just makes you look like a spoiled snot with no impulse control.
9. Having a pimple makes you look younger.
Say what?
10. The baby. The baby is the silver lining even though you just got a million stitches down there.
I don't feel qualified to comment on this one, really. Moms out there? Cute/funny or FAIL?
2 comments:
I get what Glamour was trying to do, but they totally dropped the ball. The article isn't even funny and I think number three is really insensitive too.
And about number ten, duh. Everyone knows labor is worth it because of the baby. I don't see the joke.
So right--it's not funny at all, really. But the worst for me was that stomach-flu-jeans-now-fit one. With so many people out there with eating disorders, a magazine that claims to empower women has no business making a comment like that anywhere in its pages. A magazine, I might add, that celebrates women "of all sizes" in its pages.
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