The Verdict Is In

Neighbor Boy is kinda dull.

Okay, that's harsh. He seems like a nice enough guy. But he's a wee bit on the dim side conversationally (if you've hung out with me, you know that I need stimulating conversation--that's why I hang out with you). He also frustrated me by being indecisive to the point where I can tell, if I pursued something with him, that I'd be the one always making decisions because he 1) doesn't want to offend or 2) can't make them himself. Look, I don't want some Alpha Man who controls everything, but after a few minutes of back-and-forth, a person should be able to make a decision, not just sit there on the phone waiting for me to talk. Again.

It's a pet peeve of mine. Date Boy back in December did the same thing and ultimately, I just couldn't deal.

Here's what went down:

1. I called him yesterday, which you all know about already. We talked about meeting up at about noon today to work out. This, in my mind, means, "Done Deal."

2. My cell phone rings at 8:15 this morning. Fortunately, I was awake, though still in bed. We chat for about five minutes. I mention our previously arranged time of noon.

NB: "I've got something at noon."

Me: "Oh...well, I have to clean cat cages at 10:00." (This is non-negotiable. The pet store opens at 10:00, and I don't want to keep those cats waiting. I made a committment to AFC, and I keep it.)

NB: "Well, maybe we could meet now..."

Me thinking: Dude, I'm still in bed, in my jammies, with my cats curled up next to me. I could happily spend another hour here.

Me: "Hmm. Okay, how about nine? I can't work out on an empty stomach, so I'll need to have my protein shake."

NB: "That's good."

Long pause.

Me: "Okay, yeah. Let's meet at nine, then."

NB: "Okay."

Me: "So...see ya then! Bye!"

NB: "Okay, bye."

Me: *click* *shake head* "Oh, good grief."

3. I catapult myself out of bed and start taking care of business. Deodorant? Check. Workout clothes? Check. Grab the shoes. Make protein shake (my usual breakfast). Check email. Oooh! Flirty response from very cute guy I've been flirting with on OKCupid. Nice!

Finally, it's about 8:50. "Ring-ring!" chirped my cell phone. Oh, maybe he's here.

Nope.

"So, you want me to come over now?"

Imagine me with my cell phone to my ear, smiling tightly, rolling my eyes, and taking a deep breath so all that doesn't come through in the tone of my voice.

Me: "Sure! Come on over. I'm ready. Had my breakfast and everything."

NB: "So you have your workout clothes?"

Me: "No, I'm in my stripper outfit."

Okay, so I didn't say that.

I assured him that yes, I'm in my workout clothes, and I'm ready to go. Because, remember, I've already told him, more than once, that I clean cat cages at 10:00.

To be fair, maybe he's used to people who say, "yeah, let's meet at 9:00" and then he arrives and they're not actually ready at 11:00. Who can say? He's not going to know, right off the bat, that 9:00 means 9:00 for me. I'll give him that much.

4. So he finally arrived at about 9:00. We "worked out" for about half an hour. I put that in quotes because what we did (some pushups, some situps) is not what I call working out, but rather "warming up." But he was hung over and tired.

I think he tried flirting a little but I just sat there thinking, "No, dude. I'm not into you."

And that's okay. He seems nice enough, but consider this conversational gem:

Me: "So, what do you do?" (After talking about my job for a few minutes. And being told I seem "conserve." Which yes, I am, a wee bit conservative with strangers.)

NB: "I just work."

Me: "Ahh...so, where?" MUST NOT ROLL EYES!!!

NB: "I just work and go to school."

Me: "Cool...what do you study?"

NB: "Well, I was studying psychology, but I don't like having to memorize everyone else's theories and stuff, so I think I'm going to go undeclared."

Me: "That's...cool. What else interests you?"

NB: "I don't really know. I just want to go undeclared and do what I want to do for a while."

Me: "Ahh, yes...explore your options." You big man-child. Anything you end up picking is going to entail "memorizing everyone else's theories and stuff."

He left shortly after this, talking about working out again, when he's not so hung over. I smiled and said, "Sure! Hey, drink lots of water! See ya!" and gratefully closed my door behind him.

They can't all be winners.

Hey, it's okay, though. I've been flirting back and forth with a couple of cute guys on OKCupid, and I might meet one this week for drinks. We'll see what happens. Stay tuned.