Sweat

I used to hate sweating. Sweating, to me, was the quickest way to point out to the whole world that I was a Fat Girl. I was convinced that everyone could smell me, that everyone could see the sweat stains under my arms.

I'm finally starting to get that sweat is not bad--it is my body's natural cooling system.

A month or two ago, I remarked to my trainer that I see some women at the gym who are drought-dry as they work out, whereas I am sweating rivers two minutes into any cardio routine. C. just smiled and said, "Sweat is how you know you're working hard." She then admitted that she, too, sweats buckets when she works out (I've seen her working out during her off time, and indeed, she does). I started to feel better about it.

I also started to realize that both B. The Sadistic Trainer and C. are used to being around people who sweat, and they probably don't notice it all that much anymore.

Today, I upped the intensity in my cardio routine. I've been slowly adding jogging/running to my cardio, forcing myself to do five minutes on the treadmill at a steady 3.5 miles per hour. Today, after running, I climbed aboard an elliptical and set the resistance higher than I usually go, in an effort to step things up a little now that my body is so used to the machine.

Within minutes, I felt the sweat running down my forehead, I brushed it off with a hand, then grabbed my towel and blotted the back of my neck. I glanced at my left hand where it held the hand rail--it glistened. No matter how many times I wiped it off, the sweat returned as I worked.

I looked around and saw other people working hard, their bodies sweating every bit as much as mine--and suddenly, I felt powerful, even sexy, because my body is getting stronger, and the sweat is proof that every stride on the elliptical, every lift of a weight, is improving me.

Of course, I still hate standing in a crowded classroom, surrounded by 30 preteens, sweating buckets because my air conditioning doesn't work--that isn't fun or sexy at all. But I'm no longer ashamed of leaving the gym with my clothes and hair still damp from a good workout. It's a badge of honor, that sweat. It tells the world that I am strong.