Diary of a Fat Girl: Part Six

I'm obsessed with food. There, I said it.

It's amazing how much of a role food takes in our daily lives. Food isn't just something that sustains us, it also plays many roles in our lives. For just about everyone I talk to, food is a Big Deal. Here are a few of the roles it can play:

The Best Friend and Constant Companion

I am guilty of this. Depressed? Oooh, I'll have some Mac and Cheese, or some chocolate (or hey! Both!). Lonely? Bored? Hmmm...I'm hungry. I can't go to a movie without having a soda and candy, it seems.

For some of us, food is comfort. Food is an activity that keeps us from being bored. We eat to ease away sadness, and then can't stand that we ate so much, and gained that weight.

The Enemy

For some, food is the enemy. In this case, people don't eat at all, or eat so little they pretty much starve. The bottom line is that food is the enemy--it makes us fat.

I've never had these kinds of thoughts, but I know people who have, and it is not an easy cycle to break.

The Social Butterfly

Think of the last five times you met up with friends. Was food the focus of your get-together? I bet you're nodding your head and thinking, "Gah, it's true...we ALWAYS eat out." In this day and age, it's often easier to go to a restaurant than to entertain friends at home, or find something that doesn't involve sitting around stuffing yourself.

Some of my friends and I are getting better about this. Summer and I have scrapbooking days, and while we might go out for lunch, food is not the main activity, but something we need to keep working.

The Stalker

As I said above, I'm obsessed with food. Until I can break some of the patterns I've had for a while, I just will be. I'm glad for SMBT (Sadistic, Muscle-Bound Trainer--and I give him this nickname out of complete respect and humor) telling me, "No Feta cheese. Parmesan is okay, though." I'm glad to have him helping me monitor my diet, and telling me that it's okay to eat throughout the day, just to watch what I'm eating, and to keep myself honest. Hence the food journal we pored over at yesterday's appointment.

I am seeing a light at the end of the tunnel, though. Sure, it was really hard to ignore the fact that there were Girl Scouts outside of Safeway this afternoon, but I did it, and I came home to find that, after a good breakfast and a mid-morning snack of a Luna Bar, I was feeling pretty satisfied. I had a mini-bagel in mid-afternoon (missed lunch due to errand-running and household chores), and a healthy, satisfying dinner. I'm not crying out for Samoas (much). Give me some time and I won't be thinking about them at all.

...

In other news, yesterday's workout went pretty well. When I got there, I mentioned how sore I was all day Thursday, and he said it will get better, but that I'll always be a little sore after a workout.

Last night we did more squats (sans weights, to the delight of my thighs) and an excruciating exercise in which I had both hands on a platform and then had to "walk" them from side to side while balancing on my toes. THAT was hell. The squats were a relief in comparison.

I did more bicep curls (they were easier this time around!) and then B. said, "Balance on one foot for me." I've never been flexible, but I've always had decent balance. I guess he was pleased, because he said, "I'll be right back." He came back with a basketball and said, "Here, I want you to catch this." I caught it, and only then realized it was one of those weighted balls--an eight-pounder.

B. directed me to face him, standing on one foot. We would toss the ball back and forth. It was easy at first, but then my ankle started to burn, and my balance to waver. Still, I managed it okay.

Next we did some lat presses and rowing exercises, all the while discussing the current situation in my school district. Turns out a friend of his is a school counselor--one of the last hired. She is almost sure to lose her job. I can definitely commiserate.

I had already done my 35 minutes of cardio before my appointment, so I was free to go. I got home at about 8:00, exhausted from a long day (work, school board meeting, work out) and ready for bed. I didn't even have dinner, but just a mini-bagel with some cream cheese and a cup of tea.

I skipped the workout today, instead running errands and doing some chores around the apartment. Tomorrow I'll do my cardio. B. told me to do cardio at least four times a week, this week, I did five. A day off is okay!