As Seen On TV

I don't watch a lot of TV in my apartment. I have a few specific shows I enjoy, and I tend to tune out commercials by grabbing the nearest Penny Press Variety Puzzle book. At Mom and Dad's place, though, the TV is almost always going. I've noticed recently that Dad's news channel of choice, Fox News, tends to play an overwhelming ammount of commercials that are selling stuff.

I laugh at the commercials, even as I sometimes secretly think, "Hmmm, that would be useful, actually." Here are some favorites.

The Snuggie

Are you tired of running up your heating bill? Are regular blankets just not enough? They slip, they slide, and you can't read with them, or change a channel on the TV. What is a person to do?

Try the Snuggie!

The Snuggie is a blanket with sleeves. No more blankets slipping from your chest. And it comes in Burgundy, Sage Green and Royal Blue! Call now, and you'll get TWO Snuggies and TWO reading lights for $19.95!

My thoughts: Actually, if I had the option of buying one Snuggie, without the crappy reading lights, I'd probably try it out. The first time I saw it, I laughed long and loud, but seriously, I get cold (I'm not a fan of using the heater, as it then gets too warm in the apartment) and need something to snuggle in. Sleeves on a blanket? Actually, that sounds kinda cool.


The Aqua Globe

Tired of killing off your houseplants? Overflowing water from the pot to your counter/shelves/whatever? Try the Aqua Globe! It will perfectly water your plants for two weeks!

Call now and get FOUR Aqua Globes--that's two FREE!--for only $14.95 (plus $7.95 S&H).

My thoughts: As a perpetual black-thumbed plant murderess, the idea intrigues me--and I hear that they actually work, so long as they don't get plugged with soil. I guess there's a trick to putting them in so the water doesn't get stuck.

My only question is, after two weeks, would I remember to refill them?


Hanger Cascader

Too many clothes? Not enough closet space? Are your hangers procreating at alarming rates and you just can't keep up?

You need the Hanger Cascader!

The premise is simple--hang both ends of the Hanger Cascader on your closet pole, and put a hanger in each of the six little notches. Then remove one end of the Cascader from the pole and voila! Space. They hold up to 20 POUNDS!

Buy your set of four Hanger Cascaders now, for only $14.95 ($7.95 S&H). BUT WAIT! You'll also get five Bendable Hangers to use for blouses that slip off normal hangers, or to keep the shoulders of special blouses/sweaters rounded and unstretched!

My thoughts: As a neat-freak, I love the space-saving idea of these, but I also love the idea of simply going through my closet and getting rid of stuff I won't wear again, or that doesn't fit, and keeping my wardrobe down to the basics (with a few special items thrown in).


Flingshot Flying Frog

(Note: I haven't seen this commerical, but just found it on the official site for As Seen on TV.)

Are you and your friends hard to entertain? Do movies bore you? Books leave you dry? Is conversation a drag?

You need a Flingshot Flying Frog!

You and your friends will spend HOURS laughing at this flying stuffed frog, as it "ribbets" (ed. note: I thought it was spelled Ribbit?) across the sky! No more boring parties, where all your boring friends have nothing intelligent to add to the conversation. Entertain them all with the Flingshot Flying Frog!

BUT WAIT! Order now and you'll get not one, but TWO Flingshot Flying Frogs for the low, low price of $9.95 ($6.95 S&H). It's the PERFECT gift for that hard-to-buy-for person in your life who has no use for books, movies, or other intelligent forms of entertainment! While you're at it, buy the Pig and the Monkey, too!

My thoughts: Wha?!


Doggy Steps

Does your favorite pet have difficulty getting up onto the couch or bed? Get him Doggy Steps! These are the perfect solution to help small/overweight/older dogs get where they want to go. And their plush, sheepskin look is machine washable!

Yours now for only $19.95 ($6.95 S&H).

My thoughts: Actually, when my cat Missy started having trouble getting from the floor to my bed, I used a small stool. Mom did the same thing for her Maggie, and it was a great little hopping point for the kitties to get up on the bed for cuddles as they got older, fatter and more arthritic. I think paying all that money for something you could essentially improvise on your own is silly, but the idea is pretty awesome.


The Bedazzler

No explanations needed. All I will say is that I didn't want one in the 80s, and I don't want one now.


There are TONS of items on As Seen On TV. Some are somewhat useful (I LOVE my Vidalia Slice Wizard and Chop Wizard that I found at Linens and Things), some are intriguing (I actually tried the Kinoki Foot Pads--found them at Target) and others downright amusing. The commercials are the high point though. I think they go to the Acme School of Acting to find people who are good at looking like thrilled idiots, and Billy Mays provides at least thirty seconds of entertainment.

The As Seen On TV stores are fun to visit, and I admit, I've tried a few things. But once I'm back at my apartment, I think I'll stick to my puzzle books at commercial time.