Bitter? Sweet? Nah, Just Relieved.

I can hardly believe it, but tomorrow will be my last day at Looneyville High School (name changed, yada, yada, yada).

Usually when I leave a place, I'm somewhat sad, but in this case, I'm so hugely relieved, I can't even begin to tell you. Maybe I'll tear up a little as I say my goodbyes to certain people, but at this point, I can't muster much more than that.

Maybe it's the effectiveness of my antidepressants...or maybe it's the fact that this job put me on antidepressants. Maybe it's the shadow of The Goddess still looming over my shoulder in the choir room. Maybe it's the divalicious attitudes of many of my students, who expect stardom, served on a silver platter. I don't know. Whatever it is, I just don't find myself sad, or crying at leaving this place.

I'm still a little bitter over everything that has happened--I poured two years of my life into this job, leaving so little for myself that I had anxiety, high blood pressure, and unstoppable crying jags. No one appreciates it. Sometimes it makes me want to scream--I gave, and gave, and gave, and they took, and took, and took. No appreciation--they thank me, but it's empty. It means nothing.

On the other hand, I'm getting over it. More and more each day, I find the bitterness fading away, and the overwhelming feeling that floods in to replace it is relief. I am finding strength in the fact that I have been professional. I have gotten the job done...right to the very end.

My grades are in, my business is all settled. All that is left for me to do is sign an attendance form, turn in my keys, and take one box of stuff down to my car. I will drive away from the school, and another adventure--as ever, wild and absolutely true--will commence.

I don't know where this path is taking me, but I'm not looking back.