Reasons

To stay or not to stay...that is the question. The big question. The one that keeps me up at nights (if I let it. I read a lot these days).

Reasons to Stay

1. I love Burnham-on-Crouch This is very true. I like walking along the quay on a sunny morning, I like shopping at the co-op. I like the fact that people smile and say hello to me, and that people recognize me and know that I am a part of this place. I like that I can walk home late at night and feel safe. I like that several of my colleagues live here and I run into them from time to time.

2. I love being near London That's a no-brainer. I adore London, always will. Being an hour away by train is ideal. I have museums, great theatre and Kevin Spacey right at my fingertips. Shopping, galleries, beautiful parks, you name it. And I missed London for 5 long, long years after London Semester. I don't want to leave that luxury behind.

3. The people Kathy and Derek. A select few of my colleagues. These people have come to mean something to me.

Reasons to Go

1. This school drives me mad!! It's no secret. The kids are undisciplined and the supervision here is poor on a good day, non-existent the rest. I wander through my lessons with one eye on the kids to make sure there is no murder and mayhem, the other on my watch, mentally counting the minutes 'till the end of the day. I've given up trying to talk to my classes--I just throw the worksheet down and then help the kids who ask. Can't use the keyboards--only half are working and when you do let the kids use them, it's chaos. I can't even use glockenspiels--they demolish the mallets and rip the keys off.

2. My stress level I get headaches more easily, I'm more likely to eat junk food, I don't even want to know what my blood pressure looks like. The job would be hard enough if it were just the kids, but this school is so poorly managed I can barely do my job. It doesn't help that I replaced to utterly good-for-nothing music teachers and now I have to do both of their jobs.

3. I miss the little things (and the not-so-little things) Mom. Dad. Millie. Friends. Family. Car. Target. NASCAR. Affordable clothes. Snoopy collection. DVD collection. CD collection. Large produce sections. Hot dogs that don't come in a jar. Sour Patch Kids. Scrapbook stores. Some of these things may seem inconsequential to you, the reader. But let me tell you, they add up.

4. Finding a place to live (and earning what I'm worth) Pretty self-explanatory. I got some figures from the head teacher on Friday--what I could expect to make, etc. I'm not sure it's high enough for me. Especially not considering what I am expected to do in this job.


So...

...I have some thinking to do. I guess I'm leaning more and more towards leaving. I don't really want to (aside from basically hating my job) but practicality is dictating that I go back to the States and regroup. Earn some money, save some money (for a change) join a gym again, be with my not-getting-any-younger cat (six in September) without putting her through the hell of international shipping.

Besides, England will still be here.

Disclaimer: This is NOT a final decision!!!

Cheers,

Meg