God Bless America...It's still home, after all.

Please do not read this blog entry if you are easily offended.

This is my blog. My online journal. It is normally a light-hearted look at my life in England. My life here is today affected by the events in my home country. If you are offended by what I say today, that is your right. I just don't want to argue.

I suppose, all my life, I have believed in God. A higher being of some sort. He is someone I turn to when I need direction, or peace.

I was not raised as a church-goer. The number of times my parents took me to church on a Sunday equals zero. And I am glad of it. They gave me the freedom to find my own beliefs. They gave me a strong moral foundation, teaching me to be responsible for my actions, persistant in obtaining my goals, and aware of how my presence and actions affect those around me. They taught me to be kind, to take care of people who cannot make it on their own. They taught me compassion and empathy. And they encouraged me to think for myself. To make my way in the world with dignity and courage. To admit to my mistakes, apologize for them, and correct them.

So yes, I consider myself a moral person. I would never willingly or knowingly hurt another human being. And I believe in God.

But I am not a religious person. Religion, in my opinion, muddies the waters.

I have tried religion. I went through a period in early high school in which I wanted to explore my Mormon roots and eventually attend Brigham Young University. But I am not a Mormon girl. I hit a roadblock when I discovered that at the very base of the Mormon religion is the belief that Joseph Smith was a prophet.

A couple of years later, I started to hang out with a nice crowd of kids. They all went to church together--a non-denominational Christian church. I decided to give it a try, and I ended up attending for about half of my last year of high school and all of my first year of college.

I finally hit several roadblocks, in many forms: living in liberal, party-all-night Chico, feeling the lustful stirrings inspired by my first college love, and the budding realization that I have some feminist tendencies. The final straw came when I watched a friend from church get married. Her groom promised to be to her "as Christ was to the Church," while she lovingly gazed at him and vowed to be to him "as the Church was to Christ."

Imagine the Megan you now know, sitting at this wedding with jaw on the floor. I was happy for this couple--a more perfect match I've not seen since--but I was absolutely floored by these vows. And by the attitude of the bride when I mentioned that a mutual high school friend was living (unmarried) with her baby's father: "I hope she repents."

I have not been to any church since.

I can't reconcile myself to religion because I always felt like a square peg trying to cram into a round hole. So I am "spirtitual--but not religious."

God, as I know him, does not authorize people to condemn in his stead.

Which leads me to the subject of the day.

My country has just had it's say. Just enough people wanted four more years with George Bush. That is the right of the voters.

What disturbs me is that God has come into this election.

God, without a doubt in my own personal beliefs, runs this world. And He gave humankind the reign to care for that world. And when I say God does not run America, the people do, I know that God understands I am not cutting Him out of the picture entirely. I know He understands that my hope for America is that all of the people, whether Christian, Jewish, Muslim, Hindu, Buddhist, Native American, Agnostic, Atheist, etc. will run the country together. In peace. And in unity.

George Bush talks about God a lot. He uses God to justify a messy war in which many innocent people (civilians, soldiers, aid workers) have been killed. What was the objective? Yes, Saddam is gone, but Osama is still at large--and it was Osama bin Laden who sent men with visions of virgins and jihad up into the skies on that Black Tuesday 3 years ago.

And Bush uses God to justify his intent to get rid of Roe vs. Wade and to disallow stem-cell research.

I can hear the arguments from across the Atlantic. I want to make it clear that by no means do I think abortion is a good thing. I cannot support the thought of ever having one myself--but in certain circumstances, like rape, or a horrible illness detected in the fetus...can I justify not giving a woman the right to choose? I find it absolutely disgusting that there are women who blithely use it as a form of birth control. But I cannot justify taking abortion away from the people who need it because of the few who are irresponsible. History has shown that without safe, legal abortion, women will go the back alley route.

If Bush appoints a justice or two (or three) to the Supreme Court, I am fairly certain Roe vs. Wade will fall by the wayside. Okay, so we'll deal with it when it happens. But what next? The Pill? Will my right to plan my own family be taken away? I hope, hope, hope, not.

I had an interesting debate at a message board for NASCAR fans today. A woman there tried to persuade me that God is at the very center of the founding of our country. She wrote:

This country was founded on the gospel of Jesus Christ. The people that wrote our Declaration of Independence was writing it based upon God's plan for this country. And our country and our president don't decide our future; each of us ourselves do. We make our lives/futures what we want them to be.

My reply was this:

Since when does the Constitution have anything to do with the Bible?

Because as far as I know, there were Puritans, Quakers, Catholics, Protestants and many, many more peoples who built this country.

Let's not forget the contributions made by the Jewish, the Muslims, Native Americans, Buddhists, Hindu, Sikhs, Orthodox Christians, etc. to our great and beautiful melting pot.

I love our country for its diversity and try to remember always what is clearly printed on our currency: E pluribus unum. Of many, one.

I am scared for my country today. I am scared that the actions of this man who leads it will stir the hatred of the extremists of the Middle East and cause more fear, hatred and suffering the world over.

I am scared for my future as I work and pay taxes to a government in debt. While the rich get richer and I, in my quest to "change the world, one child at a time," am left terrified that I will not have means to support myself when I am old.

I know my views are not popular with some of my friends and all of my family. I thank God that these relationships are stronger than political leanings.

I am scared today. And yet, my ever-present optimism hopes that it won't be as bad as I fear. I thank the Founding Fathers for installing limits to the power of very power-hungry men. I am grateful for term limits and new chances in 4 years.

I said it in the subject and I'll say it again: God Bless America.