Online Dating

Ugh.

I'm back into the online dating world, and I really don't know what possessed me to go through this torture again.

I signed up a few days ago, and I've received two messages so far, even though about 50 men have looked at my profile. (Was it something I said? Ha.) The first message was from a nice-enough seeming guy. I read his profile and realized we weren't exactly a great match on paper, but hey, who am I to judge by a profile? I was all set to hit "reply" when I noticed one little, teenie-weenie factoid that might pose a problem.

Dude lives in North Carolina.

*Sigh*

I logged on tonight, after a long, exhausting dress rehearsal, to find I have a new email. Mr. Loquacious simply wrote, "HELLO, BEAUTIFUL." Uh-oh, someone didn't get the memo that all-caps typing is the Internet equivalent of yelling! But I can handle that. It's his profile that cracked me up:

I LOVE THE OUTDOORS AND ALl THE THING THAT GO WITH IT
SO I JUST WANT TO MEAT SOMEONE NICE WELL IM GOOD AT HEART
AND LIKE DOING THING YOU NAME IT IF IT FUN

Head, meet desk. BAM.